by Dr. Cecil Clements (1st May 2012)
I was thinking about trust and how often we tell somebody ‘Just trust me’ or we have been told by somebody ‘Trust me, I know that this is right’ or ‘I know that this is good’. That’s a statement that either invites people to place a lot of trust in us or for us to put a lot of trust in the person who is inviting us to trust him or her. In corporate settings, the higher you go, the less you are able to articulate reasons as to why you would invite somebody to trust you. Very rarely are you able to say, “Here’s why I have to do something. I hope you understand because this is the reason I am doing it.” More often than not, the decision is taken and you hope that people will understand that it’s the right decision that was taken.
I remember hearing a story many years ago from a mentor who talked about a little boy who had just finished a game of marbles. You don’t see boys playing marbles these days, but when I was growing up, it was a big deal to play a game of marbles. Well, this little boy was walking with all his marbles in his pockets when he saw his friend Susan walking towards him. She was eating chocolate. This boy loved chocolate and knowing this, she deliberately stood in front of him and showed him a handful of chocolate. He began to salivate and asked her for a chocolate. She refused. Finally he said, “I’ll give you my marbles if you give me all those chocolates.”
She considered the deal and said, “Okay, give me all the marbles and I’ll give you all the chocolates.” So he put his hand in his pocket and felt around for that one marble that was his favorite, the one that was chipped and shiny and round and brought him luck. He pushed it to the side and took the rest of the marbles out and handed them to her. She in turn, put her hand in her pocket and gave him the chocolates. He took them, started walking away, put one in his mouth when all of a sudden he stopped, turned around and shouted after her, “Hey Susan, did you give me all your chocolates?”
Sometimes that’s the way we are. We can’t trust others when we are not true to ourselves. Have we used different yardsticks for ourselves?
The old adage is so true: “We judge others by actions; we judge ourselves by intent.” When other people do things, we look at what they do. We look at the action or the behavior and we judge them. But when we do things, we look at our intent or ask the question, “Why did I do something?” We use two standards. You can’t trust others when you are not true to yourself. It’s so difficult to trust somebody when you are not true to yourself. So often we find ourselves in situations where we cannot explain behavior for whatever reason. It may be confidential, other things may be involved, but we expect people to trust that the action that we’ve taken is the right action.
What is trust?
Aristotle living in 384 B.C. writing in the rhetoric, says, “The trust of a speaker by the listener was based on the 3 characteristics:
I was thinking about trust and how often we tell somebody ‘Just trust me’ or we have been told by somebody ‘Trust me, I know that this is right’ or ‘I know that this is good’. That’s a statement that either invites people to place a lot of trust in us or for us to put a lot of trust in the person who is inviting us to trust him or her. In corporate settings, the higher you go, the less you are able to articulate reasons as to why you would invite somebody to trust you. Very rarely are you able to say, “Here’s why I have to do something. I hope you understand because this is the reason I am doing it.” More often than not, the decision is taken and you hope that people will understand that it’s the right decision that was taken.
I remember hearing a story many years ago from a mentor who talked about a little boy who had just finished a game of marbles. You don’t see boys playing marbles these days, but when I was growing up, it was a big deal to play a game of marbles. Well, this little boy was walking with all his marbles in his pockets when he saw his friend Susan walking towards him. She was eating chocolate. This boy loved chocolate and knowing this, she deliberately stood in front of him and showed him a handful of chocolate. He began to salivate and asked her for a chocolate. She refused. Finally he said, “I’ll give you my marbles if you give me all those chocolates.”
She considered the deal and said, “Okay, give me all the marbles and I’ll give you all the chocolates.” So he put his hand in his pocket and felt around for that one marble that was his favorite, the one that was chipped and shiny and round and brought him luck. He pushed it to the side and took the rest of the marbles out and handed them to her. She in turn, put her hand in her pocket and gave him the chocolates. He took them, started walking away, put one in his mouth when all of a sudden he stopped, turned around and shouted after her, “Hey Susan, did you give me all your chocolates?”
Sometimes that’s the way we are. We can’t trust others when we are not true to ourselves. Have we used different yardsticks for ourselves?
The old adage is so true: “We judge others by actions; we judge ourselves by intent.” When other people do things, we look at what they do. We look at the action or the behavior and we judge them. But when we do things, we look at our intent or ask the question, “Why did I do something?” We use two standards. You can’t trust others when you are not true to yourself. It’s so difficult to trust somebody when you are not true to yourself. So often we find ourselves in situations where we cannot explain behavior for whatever reason. It may be confidential, other things may be involved, but we expect people to trust that the action that we’ve taken is the right action.
What is trust?
Aristotle living in 384 B.C. writing in the rhetoric, says, “The trust of a speaker by the listener was based on the 3 characteristics:
- Intelligence of the speaker – the correctness of his/her opinions or their competence.
- Character of the speaker – their reliability that had a competence factor and an honesty factor.
- Goodwill of the speaker – the favorable intentions that were towards the listener.
I don’t thing much has changed in the 2000 odd years since he lived. It’s pretty much the same. Intelligence, character and goodwill are still good measures of the trust that we have.
Richard Williams, author of ‘Building Trust in the Workplace’ says, “Psychologists are just beginning to learn how trust really works. Research suggests that trusting relationships are threefold:
Richard Williams, author of ‘Building Trust in the Workplace’ says, “Psychologists are just beginning to learn how trust really works. Research suggests that trusting relationships are threefold:
- There must be an element of predictability in it,
- There must be caring,
- There must be faithfulness.
Predictability, caring and faithfulness for trust to be imparted and built upon.
So how would you build trust in the workplace, in the marketplace? How do you get people to trust you?
David Bowman, a human resource expert writing in the Harvard Business Review, says, “There are 5 ways to build trust and 5 ways to lose trust in the marketplace.” I want to give them to you verbatim.
To build trust:
So how would you build trust in the workplace, in the marketplace? How do you get people to trust you?
David Bowman, a human resource expert writing in the Harvard Business Review, says, “There are 5 ways to build trust and 5 ways to lose trust in the marketplace.” I want to give them to you verbatim.
To build trust:
- Establish and maintain integrity: It is the foundation of trust in any organization. Integrity must begin at the top and then move down.
- Communicate vision and values. Communication is so important since it provides the artery for information and truth.
- Consider all employees as equal partners, whether or not the salary structure is the same. Trust is established when even the newest rookie, a part-timer, or the lowest paid employee feels important and part of the team.
- Focus on shared rather than personal goals. When employees feel that everyone is pulling together to accomplish a shared vision, rather than a series of personal agendas, trust results.
- Do what’s right regardless of personal risk. We all know intuitively what’s right in nearly every situation. Following this instinctive sense and ignoring any personal consequences, will always create respect from those around us.
To lose trust:
- Inconsistency – the way you act and speak. If you are not consistent or you are contradictive in your behavior or your words, you lose trust.
- If you seek personal rather than shared gain. If all you are concerned about is how to get the benefit for yourself, you lose trust in a team environment.
- Withholding information. When communication channels shut down, both top-down and bottom-up, rumors start and misinformation is believed to be real.
- Lie or tell half-truths.
- Be closed-minded – unwilling to consider others’ ideas and points of view.
How is it with you, my friends? Creating trust is so important, so integral to everything that we do in our workplace - to be able to be trusted by our colleagues and to be able to trust. The onus may be on you today, to build trust or to restore trust. It’s so important in the organizations that we work in, that trust is at a premium.
My prayer for each one of you in all your decision-making processes, as you interact with people who work with you side by side or even at a lower level or your peer lever, to be able to build trust, I pray that you would have the resources to be able to do so.
God Bless us All.
My prayer for each one of you in all your decision-making processes, as you interact with people who work with you side by side or even at a lower level or your peer lever, to be able to build trust, I pray that you would have the resources to be able to do so.
God Bless us All.
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