I do personality tests for people that I engage with or counsel for different issues. One of my favorite is Florence Littauer's personality test that is found in her book 'Personality Plus". It outlines four distinct personalities and how they play into people's lives, their various strengths and weaknesses. It's always been an eye opener for most people, because they realize the kind of personality that they are especially in terms of relationships – dealing with other people. They realize that other people are made differently; they are born with traits that are completely different and you could be banging your head against a brick wall if you try to change other people to act like you or to see things from your perspective. That is always an issue with relationships.
But one of the things that I have found in doing these personality tests is that while it shows you that this is the way you are, it doesn't necessarily have to tell you the way you need to act. One is knowledge about yourself; the other is what you can do with that knowledge. Sometimes we think that if this is the way I am, then this is the way I've got to act – there's nothing I can do about it. But you can change, you can take charge. How you are determines how you see situations and how you see situations, determines the emotions that come up. There is a bit of space between how you react emotionally to how those emotions will then drive your actions. Sometimes we don't take the time to put some space between what we're feeling emotionally and how we are tending to act, more out of a gut response to the way we are feeling emotionally. But between these two is space and time that we must put in to think through whether our action is the right action.
I think that's where emotional intelligence has come in and begun to do a lot of work in helping us understand the way we respond. Emotional intelligence came in around 1995 by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer. They talked about how we manage ourselves and our relationships and how Emotional Intelligence (EI) consists of four fundamental capabilities.
· Self awareness
· Self management
· Social awareness
· Social skill.
Those may be vague concepts to wrap our minds around, but I was reading an article by Kendra Cherry in About.com and she breaks this down for us into layperson's language. She says, "Basically there are four areas of Emotional Intelligence.
1. Perceiving emotions – beginning to be aware of the emotions by looking at visible or non-verbal things.
2. Reasoning with emotions – we start thinking about them and then we promote cognitive activity about those emotions. We begin to start thinking.
3. Understanding emotions – we start to interpret the emotion. Why is this person angry? What is the trigger behind that anger?
4. Managing emotions – how do I respond or what do I do with this emotion? How do we regulate it, how do we respond to it?
I think that we really need to take the time to utilize the space between emotions and actions and try and make sure that our actions are the right actions. No more is it permissible or even acceptable in the world that we live in to say, "This is the way I am, this is the way I'm put together and therefore this is the way I am going to act. The way we act today may not be the right way that people want us to act and that can get us ahead in the things that we do or want.
It was interesting that this morning in the Economic Times there was an article by Daniel Goleman entitled "Leadership That Gets Results" where he talked about the six leadership styles. This was a very old article written somewhere in 2000, by Daniel Goleman "On Style & Leadership". He speaks about the six leadership styles. Interestingly what he said was that leadership styles were not an either/or but have begun to be both 'and' situation. No longer are leaders saying, "This is the kind of leader I am and this is my style of leadership." But increasingly, leaders are having to say, "I embrace different styles of leadership," because that is what is called for in deciding processes in the workplace." It's impossible nowadays to say, "I'm this kind of leader and that's the kind of leader you're going to get."
We've seen what happened to leaders like that in the past – big names like Churchill, Thatcher – all who said, "This is the way I am and I cannot change," lasted for a particular period of time and then were completely sidelined. Today's leadership needs to say, "This is who I am but this is who I can also act like." Daniel Goleman says in his article, "There are six leadership styles and successful leaders are able to embrace more than just one style, but are able to call on these leadership styles in different situations. These six areas are:
· Coercive leaders – they want immediate compliance. The phrase that would define them would be "Do what I tell you."
· Authoritative leaders – mobilize people towards a vision. "Come with me."
· Affiliative leaders – "People come first." They create emotional bonds and harmony within an organization.
· Democratic leaders – "What do you think?" They try to build consensus within an organization.
· Pace-setting leaders – "Do as I do. Now!" They expect excellence and self-direction.
· Coaching leaders – "Try this." They develop people for the future.
Daniel Goleman ends by saying, "Today, the style of leadership that is getting results is the type of leader who can find situations where he/she can draw on all six of these leadership styles.
That is so interesting. The Economic Times today had a front page article that said "India Inc. looks to maturity as crisis puts on years." The article went on to say that betting on maturity and experience to revive slowing business in a difficult macro-economic environment is what companies are looking for. They are looking for people with maturity and experience. They were talking about people who were being hired who were 51, like Varun Berry in Britannia and Harish Bhat in Tata Global Beverage, Karl Slym in Tata Motors, Etienne Benet in Nestlé India, Sanjeev Mehta in Hindustan Unilever.
But it made me think that what comes with maturity is the ability to, over the years, look at ourselves and say, "Just saying this is the way I am, take me as I am or forget it, is not going to cut it in today's world." And maturity allows us to realize that while we are pushed or have a penchant to act because of our personality, maturity also tells us when we need to put down our personalities or not allow actions to come because of them. Change those actions to suit the environment or the situation. I think that's where emotional intelligence must begin to play up.
So, to all of you who have looked at your personalities and said, "This is the way I'm made."
It's true, that's how you're made. But it's possible to also say, "That may not be the best way for me to act in this particular situation." And as experts would say, "Today the key is to be able to let situations and circumstances drive the kind of leadership skill set that you bring into that situation." I hope that it is something that will make you think a little.
Let me pray with you. Almighty God. Give us the wisdom to know how to act in different situations. Lord, for each one of these precious ones on this call as they make decisions in their various areas of work, I pray that you would lead them, show them which kind of skill set they need to employ in particular situations or circumstances. Give them the wisdom to know that they don't have to act according to their personality, that they can change some of the things according to the emotions that they feel, that they don't need to be driven by just emotions, but they can think through emotional intelligence in times like this. Most of all, we lean on You to let wisdom in our lives. I pray this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
• Daniel Goleman, "Leadership That Gets Results." http://hbr.org/2000/03/leadership-that-gets-results/ar/3
• Kendra Cherry, "What is Emotional Intelligence," http://psychology.about.com/od/personalitydevelopment/a/emotionalintell.htm
• Daniel Goleman, "On Style & Leadership." Economic Times, 30th July pg 16.
• Sagar Malviya & Ratna Bhushan, "India Inc Looks to Maturity as Crisis Puts on Years." Economic Times, 30th July, pg 1
• Florence Littauer, Personality Plus," Baker Book House, Grand Rapids, MI. 1983, 1992.
No comments:
Post a Comment