Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Are You OK?

Dan Richards was chosen to be head of Strategic Planning at the Knoxville Company and he came highly credentialed. He had two Masters degrees from the London School of Economics and had done wonderful work in Europe and elsewhere before he was given this job. He was young, 35, but everybody felt that even though he was young, he could deliver. He came into the company bursting with excitement, ready to take on the job. He was in his office at 6 am every day and left only at 8:30 pm and used to boast and say that all he needed was 4 hours of sleep and he was good to go. His ideas would come out - even before people had time to process one, he would come up with another one. He was always bustling with energy, full of excitement, seemed to be full of the steam necessary to take the company forward especially in the area of strategic planning.

 

But about six months later, his CEO saw that he had stopped coming in at 6 am and was coming in at 9 am instead. Without really asking for an explanation, Dan said, "The family wants me to spend more time at home." One day the CEO walked in and saw him sleeping at his desk and when questioned, he said, "I had a bad day yesterday. I've not been able to get things together."

 

Over the next couple of months, they noticed that he was coming into the office, once immaculately dressed, now slightly disheveled. His suit looked like he'd been sleeping in it. One day when he walked in, Dan showed him his hands and said, "Look at my hands. I feel as if they are being pricked all over." One thing led to another and they realized that he needed attention. They had to let him go and it turned out that he was manic-depressive. He was admitted into psychiatric care.

 

As I was reading this article, I thought that it is so important to be a part of an organization and yet also be able to read the signs of fellow colleagues around us. Often, we tend to put on masks and façades and do what we're called to do and get quite myopic about it, not realizing that somebody next to us is going through a very difficult time.

 

I remember many years ago, I was serving as a chaplain in a hospital in the US. As we looked at how to better the care for people around, someone said, "We have a helipad on top of the hospital and a helicopter that goes out and gets patients." The thought came to someone – "I wonder who cares for the pilot and the medic who go out?" We decided to go and talk to them and ask them how things were going. The nurse on duty broke down saying how difficult it was because when they get a call to go and pick up somebody, the pilot is never told how desperate the situation is. He's expected to use his judgment as to whether he can make a landing and so on. The medics know and they get the patient on board and there is a lot of stress associated with it. Their job is to keep this patient alive from the time they pick him up to the time they can get him to the hospital. Sometimes it doesn't happen. In spite of their best efforts, they lose the patient. This nurse was crying and said, "When that happens, we go to the corner of the terrace, sit down and cry, and then move on." We realized that there was no processing for them. They had to just internalize it – often beating themselves up wondering if they could have done it any different and better. If there was somebody who looked at them and said, "Hey, you did your best. Nothing else could have been done," it would have helped them to process it.

 

But so often in our areas of work, we don't take the time to see what's going on with a colleague. Sometimes those are the things that are so needed.

 

A study was conducted at Stanford University in April 2013 and they had a dozen social scientists, business school professors and other experts on compassion. Their conference was entitled 'Compassion and Business." The things that came out of that conference were interesting. Basically they said that there was a need for kindness and compassion in the workplace. The research of these graduates and psychologists also showed that where there was kindness rather than negative feedback, there were higher levels of achievement.

 

As I was reading through that article, one thing came to my mind and I quote the author, "It has to come from a place of authenticity, or at least cultural internalization, not something employees are complying with because it's what the boss wants." It cannot be something that you order people to do. It has to be internally motivated. It must be intrinsic to you and me, that we begin to look around our workplace with some degree of kindness.

 

That is so important for each one of us. We live in such a fast-paced world. At office, there are deadlines to keep, budgets to match, all kinds of things that put all kinds of pressure on us. We never know what kind of pressure a colleague is facing at home which may, in some way, be put on hold when they come to the office, but is still working like an app underneath, draining the energy and sapping stamina. Just a kind word – to be able to look around and see somebody who used to be chirpy, is not anymore; used to be well dressed but is now looked disheveled, tired, sleepy. To be able to go to that colleague and ask if everything is ok! "Is there anything I can do? Do you need to talk about something?"

 

I wonder if that would make a difference in your workplace – to just use a word of kindness and compassion in this fast-paced world. It would be so good to be able to see things like that happen in the workplace. I was in a corporate office two weeks ago and was so happy. I was speaking to the staff but when I finished I realized that two cakes were brought out. The HR person came up front and said, "We're going to celebrate the birthdays and anniversaries of those who've had them this past month." There was such a wonderful feeling of camaraderie there. I thought, "What an excellent atmosphere for work to happen! People are beginning to talk even beyond the office hours, getting to know each other a little bit more." It's in that kind of a situation that we are able to see beyond the façades that are sometimes put up.

 

Our Holy Book reminds us to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another just as God in Christ has forgiven us.

 

I wonder whether today is a good time to think about that, for you to look and say, "I wonder I can look across at my colleagues today and see if there are lines of worry or stress or tension." Maybe just the ability for somebody to talk about it would help him or her tremendously. My prayer today is that we would be motivated to do that.

 

Can I pray with you? Almighty God, on each one of these precious ones on this call, we pray that You would pour out compassion and kindness, that today we would look across our workspaces through eyes of compassion and a heart of kindness and see if there is need among our colleagues and be able to speak into their lives words of encouragement that they may need to hear. I pray that we would be a kind group of people today in the week and the months that follow. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

 

       "The Psychology of Kindness in the Workplace, " June 10, 2013, http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/news/research/understanding-psychology-kindness-workplace

       Julia Lieblich, "Managing a Manic-Depressive," http://hbr.org/1994/05/managing-a-manic-depressive/ar/1

       Bible quote, Ephesians 4:32

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