I was able to attend a conference on Saturday conducted by my wife on CBT – Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It was basically on how it could be used on the prevention of suicides. She mentioned a lot of things that I thought would be so helpful in our everyday lives. She said, "We deal with behavior, but behavior is a result of thinking and our thinking comes from what are our core beliefs. To change behavior, we need to come back to the belief system and try to work with it." Most of us never get to work with core beliefs; we only engage with behavior in our work places. Sometimes our judgments are made on the basis of behavior. Yet, if we are to bring about some change, we need to understand the thinking behind behaviors, then find out the belief and work with that.
But, beyond that, what really got my attention was the staggering statistics that were shared at the conference. One million people take their lives every year in our world. If you do the math, it means that every 40 seconds, somebody decides that there is no more hope left and they snuff out their lives. It doesn't get better for us living in India. We see that the suicide rate is so high in India. Every day, 371 people take their lives – that's 15 every hour. A sobering thought – 4 people would have taken their lives in the duration of this call.
Those are really sobering statistics: Chennai 6 people, Bangalore 5, Delhi 4, Mumbai 3-4 per day. I thought about these people who are dying, who decide that they cannot handle the pressures of life any more. It's so sad to get to the point where they really believe that nothing can be done about their situation. But what really grabbed my attention was that 53% of the suicides in India happen between the ages of 30 and 59, the working part of our lives.
Claire Hutchison wrote an article titled "Corporate Suicides Highlight Stresses at the Top". She quotes an executive coach Gould who says, "Stress is often caused by a lack of control and a lack of support. If you feel like you can't control certain outcomes and don't have anybody to discuss your worries and feelings with…. that's potentially a toxic mix."
Lack of control comes from so many areas:
Unusually high debt and suddenly somebody realizes that all that one earns or can potentially earn is never going to cover what one owes – and they decide to take their lives.
Even work expectations – I can never match up to what is expected of me.
Home stresses or strain on relationships, infidelity in marriage – all of these bring in lack of control. They feel that they cannot control that situation and are willing to just give up on life.
That's something that you and I cannot do anything about. It rests with the person. But the second area that she talks about – lack of support is something that we can do something about. It is said that 70% of people who take their lives tell someone about their plans. I wonder whether you and I are in positions where we keep our antennae out for colleagues and people around us. If the statistics are so high, then there are people around us who are facing that kind of a situation in their lives, where they are saying, "I'm finding it so difficult to go on."
Dr. John Grohol, founder of Psych Central, writes an article titled, "Common Signs of Someone Who May be Suicidal." He says, "If you hear someone saying something like:
· Life isn't worth living
· Don't worry, I won't be around to deal with that
· I won't be a burden much longer
· There's nothing I can do to make it better
Or you may become aware of the following activities:
· Getting affairs in order (paying off debts, changing a will)
· Giving away articles of either personal or monetary value
Or you may notice someone with severe depression
· A significant change in the person's weight or appetite
· A withdrawal from family and friends
· Diminished ability to think or concentrate, slowed thinking or indecisiveness
People who are depressed will be seen turning to things like alcohol or drugs, or they eat more, watch television for hours on end, don't want to leave their house, apartment or dorm room. They may stop caring about their physical appearances; they may not shower or brush their teeth. These are just a few of the visible signs that all come under the area of lack of support.
Lack of support is something that we can do something about. To be able to look around us and say, "If these statistics are so high, are there people around me in my world who may be showing some of these signs?" it's sad when people lose hope and think that nothing can change their situation. And yet we know that God is in our situation.
I love a song written by Matt Redman called 'You Never Let Go'.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me.
In our Holy Scriptures we find these words written where God says to us, "Even though you walk through the valley of dark shadows, I will be with you."
Today's call is more about other people, wondering if we can have a little bit more sensitivity to take a look at people who desperately need our support. Maybe there is somebody on this call who could be going down that road of hopelessness and I would say to you as strongly as I can, that God is in charge. God will take you through. You don't ever need to face that kind of decision whether to end your life or not. 371 people every day decide they cannot take another minute. I think for us, the onus should be – if I can do anything to stop it, I must. "Even though they walk through the valley of dark shadows, God is with them."
Let me pray with you. Almighty God, give us sensitivity today, that even as we look at our workplaces and we see that 53% of people in this age group, working people, take their lives. If there are any around us today, would You open our eyes that we may see them, reach out to them and instill and reiterate hope that You are with them, that You will never let go of them. Help us to be Your eyes today. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
• Suicide statistics taken from "Accidental Deaths and Suicides in India" Annual Publication 2012 http://ncrb.gov.in/CD-ADSI-2012/ADSIHome2012.htm
• Claire Hutchison, "Corporate suicide highlight stresses at the top," http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/08/28/us-corporatestress-idUSBRE97R0W320130828 reference to executive coach Gould.
• Dr John Grohol, "Common signs of Someone Who May be Suicidal," http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/10/08/common-signs-of-someone-who-may-be-suicidal/
• Matt Readman, "You Never Let Go.: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/matt_redman/you_never_let_go.html
• Psalm 23:4, "Even though I walk..."
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