Anger@The Workplace

While travelling recently, I observed an incident where one person pushed another who retaliated with such anger and force. It seemed so disproportionate to what had just happened. It took the first person too by surprise, who then responded to this in anger at the same level. Soon, they were at each other, throwing words and punches. It made me think of how small issues are causing disproportionate responses. It has a lot to do with the things that we go through. There is pent up anger that we carry with us, that just needs a tiny provocation for us to go overboard and unleash it on a person who in many ways, cannot respond.

 

We see that very often in the workplace. I remember someone telling me about a person in his workplace who is always so angry. I told him I know that person and he was not that kind of person. He just smiled and said, "You don't know him. He changes when he gets to the workplace – to be a very angry person." Very often, the workplace seems to be the place where anger is shown, because people don't have the ability to respond. In other places, they don't have the power.

 

That's what we need to talk a little about because many of us may be in a position where we are facing anger or perpetuating anger on people around. A couple of years ago, I read a newspaper article where a man in New York City who had been laid off from a store near the Empire State Building, returned with a gun and killed a former co-worker on the street. Sometimes the reactions that we have to pent-up anger are so destructive. It either gets into a passive-aggressive mode where people can't get anything out of us. We appear to be willing to do the things that we are supposed to do, but underneath, we are not willing to do it. We stick by what we need to do, slow down processes and no one can do anything about it.

 

In an article by Hendrie Weisinger, an author and psychologist, wrote on Anger Management. He says, "Management cannot ignore anger any longer. In a survey that was done, 12 of the most common catalysts of anger in the workplace are these:

·       General harassment, either sexual or other.

·       Favoritism of one employee over another.

·       Insensitivity by managers.

·       Depersonalization of the contemporary workplace.

·       Unfair performance appraisals

·       A lack of resources

·       Lack of adequate training

·       Lack of teamwork

·       Withdrawal of earned benefits

·       Lack or violation of trust

·       Poor communication

·       Absentee bosses

If you look at this list, you will see that it is very easy to fall in quite a few of the categories. There are so many things that happen to us that can cause us to be angry.

 

Tony Fiore, writing an article on "The High Costs of Anger in the Workplace" says, "Studies show that up to 42% of employee time is spent engaging in or trying to resolve conflicts. This results in wasted employee time, mistakes, stress, lower morale, hampered performance, and reduced profits and/or service. In fact, in 1993 the National Safe Workplace Institute released a study showing that workplace violence costs $4.2 billion each year, estimating over 111,000 violent incidents. Further, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, about 500,000 victims of violent crime in the workplace lost an estimated 1.8 million workdays each year." Those are astounding statistics! Take that back 15-20 years and then look at what is happening today. Anger hasn't eased; in fact, it is grown.

 

So how do we understand anger? We have to understand anger before we can deal with it. Anger is an emotion that we have which comes from within us. Our body is made up of three components – body, soul and spirit. If we look at these components, we see the body is the physical part, the bone, skin, muscle. The soul consists of the mind, the will and the emotions. The spirit is the innermost part of our being that contains our identity, our creativity, our conscience through which we relate to God. It's the part of us that imparts life. Anger is resident in our soul. When we get something that comes through the window of our soul and then we determine what we do with it.

 

Tom Marshall, in his book 'Right Relationships' says, "One of the problems is that our language has no way of distinguishing between anger as a feeling and anger as a behavior." That is crucial – there is a distinction between anger as a feeling and anger as behavior. Oftentimes we fail to recognize that difference. We often look at behavior and say, "That is anger." yet, it emanates first from a feeling and if we don't deal with the feeling, then the behavior is often what can be destructive. So before we understand how to really look at anger, we need to back up and say, "What's the feeling? What's the emotion?" here's what we need to understand. At the emotional stage, anger is a feeling. It's something that God has given us. It's a good thing. It's like the valve on a pressure cooker. It allows the steam to be released so that the pot doesn't explode. That the feeling! We feel that anger because something unjust has been done to us. But it is the behavioral component that we need to be very careful about.

 

The second thing that we need to understand about anger is: Is the anger justified? Psychologist Reinecke says, "That is the key. Make sure that anger is justified. Anger is a function of a number of different things:

·       There has to be a current threat,

·       It has to be directed at you or somebody close to you;

·       It has to be malicious and intentional

·       It has to be a violation of a rule or standard.

 

So, how can we handle anger? If it is an emotion, then we ought to take a few moments at the point when the emotion rises within us and say, "How do I respond?" Two ways that we can respond positively is this:

1.     An empowerment path - to thoroughly document the work that you are doing. Save emails from the boss that are critical; be prepared should you need evidence to show human resources or higher management that you are being treated unfairly. Rather than stewing in your frustration, you are acting on your circumstances and trying to make them better.

2.     A path of self-nurturance. This could involving telling yourself that you are going to work hard on it for the next couple of hours, then you are going to take a nice long walk on your lunch break. That could be a means of stepping away from your frustration and doing something that you enjoy.

Rifkin is the one who writes this: "If your anger isn't directed in one of those ways, it's going into some kind of dysfunctional use."

 

Take full responsibility for your behavior. Choose that in future you will recognize the difference between anger as a feeling and anger as behavior. Ask God to show how to temper behavior that may rise from emotion that is going on. Here's another important thing: Release and forgive people who have hurt you and upset you. That's so crucial! Anger is an emotion that happens within us because of something inflicted on us by somebody. And often we carry unforgiveness with us. Somebody once said, "If you don't forgive people, you actually carry excess baggage with you. The other person has walked away but you carry the baggage of the unforgiveness." Maybe today would be a good day to release that person and to forgive them.

 

Our Scriptures give us beautiful wise words. It says, "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." don't let it stew. Deal with it immediately. Ask God to help you to release that anger, to release people, to be able to deal with injustices in a good pro-active manner. If we do that, I think it will make for a better workplace. My prayer is that each one of you will be able to handle anger in yourself or anger that is in the workplace in better ways.

 

Let me pray with you. Almighty God. Bless each one on this call. Help us to be able to know how to handle anger so that we can, not only be better individuals, but also be able to have a better workplace environment that produces more and effective efficient work. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

 

•       Quote by Hendrie Weisinger, http://maximforleaders.blogspot.in

•       Liz Griffin, "Anger: How do you handle it?"

•       Tony Fiore, "The High Costs of Anger in the Workplace    http://www.edforeman.com/the-high-costs-of-anger-in-the-workplace/

•       Tom Marshal, Right Relationships." http://www.amazon.com/Right-Relationships-Tom-Marshall/dp/185240034X

•       Rex Huppke, "Anger on the Job."  Rifkin quote.

•       Bible quote: "Don't let the sun go down..." Eph. 4:26 CJB