This last week I have been very disturbed by the suicide of well-known actor Robin Williams on 11 August. It seemed almost uncharacteristic for him because he had been involved in bringing so many wonderful films into our lives that were so uplifting, encouraging and humorous and gentle – movies like Mrs. Doubtfire, Patch Adams, Dead Poets Society. That last one has been one of my favorite movies and in that movie he uses a strong Latin phrase "Carpe diem" which translates into English 'Seize the day'. Get each day, look forward to it and all that it has. I reflected on that and realized with sadness that he had reached the point where it couldn't be Carpe diem for him. It was not a day that he could seize; he didn't have what he needed to go through that day.
That made me think about each one of us and sometimes the futility of life that seems to envelop people around us and it seems more and more that there are an increasing number of people who get to the point where they realize or they think there is no hope left. In fact, the statistics are so sobering. On 11 August, Robin Williams was just one of 3000 people who took their lives that day. For those of us in India, the statistics are even more sobering: 1.8 lakh Indians take their lives every year. It varies for other nations as we look at Singapore, Africa and America. The numbers vary but each is staggering in its own way.
Phil Donahue said, "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." That's well put because there's no coming back from suicide. Once it's done, it's done. It made me think about us and the people we come into contact with.
I was reading an article that said that suicides are on the rise in the workplace, in the market place, in corporate worlds for whatever reason: sales are dipping, figures are not being achieved, not getting along with a boss, unresolved family issues that are brought in to the office spaces, financial losses, stocks that plummet, or even shame in mismanagement. All of them in some way contribute to a sense of failure. Sometimes that failure can envelop one to the point where one thinks that I can't face another day. I have been in situations where somebody I've known has committed suicide. As I look back I think, "How could this person have done this? They seemed to be fine." Then when I begin to think about it, I realize that there were telltale signs that they were struggling.
It is a sobering thought to bring in on a Tuesday morning. Yet I thought that I would bring it to you all. I wonder whether we can keep our eyes and ears open to be able to see whether our colleagues are doing okay, whether we are doing okay. It's something that slowly creeps upon us. It starts with depression, then we begin to feel depressed, don't feel like facing the day. That sometimes leads to substance abuse. When you look at North America and Europe, alcoholism is one of the key reasons for suicide. In the Asian context, surprisingly, it's impulsiveness. I say surprisingly, because you wouldn't think that suicide would be an impulsive decision. You would think that it would be well thought out but in the Asian context, they suddenly think that they can't handle it anymore and end their lives. I'm just going to throw out some things that we could be aware of that will help us to be in positions where we can help people who are getting to a point where they think that they can't face another day.
So here are some telltale signs:
· You find that people talk about being dead or how people would be happier if they were dead;
· Extreme mood swings – the person is very depressed at one moment and happy and excited the next;
· Does not accept praise or compliments well
· Drastic changes in habits, friends or appearance
· Changes in weight, sleeping habits, physical activity
· Withdrawing from friends, family, or activities that once gave the person pleasure or a sense of identity
· A sudden unexpected and tragic event accompanied by an uncharacteristic withdrawal and/or depression.
All of these are ways that people who are actually contemplating suicide reach out. Psychologists say that there are always telltale signs of suicide. When my wife, who is a clinical psychologist, is in counseling sessions with suicidal clients, she will elicit a promise from them: I want you to promise me that before you do anything like that, you will call me. She gets that promise and it's strange that they honor that promise. She has got calls late at night from someone she was counseling who said, "I'm standing on the highway and I'm ready to jump in front of the next truck." She said, "Don't do it. Wait! I'm coming." And she went there, met him, got him out and talked to him and today, he's doing well.
So we can reach out to people around us and help them. My prayer is that we would do that, that we would look for these tell tale signs that show us that people are getting depressed and coming to the end of their tether almost. I wonder – why do we feel that a situation cannot change? We feel like that because we have reached the end of our resources, our own thoughts and ideas, how to cope with the situation. We have exhausted everything that we can use to help us through that situation. And when it fails, then we feel that we can't go on.
Yet, as I keep saying, there's such a strong element of God's presence with us. He knows and understands our situations far better than we do. He knows how the situation can be solved and I think that we must call Him into our situations, into our workplaces. We must get wisdom from Him to be able to see beyond hopeless situations to hopeful solutions.
That's my prayer for us, somber as this talk is, that as you go through this day, not only would you be able to move away from a depressing situation where things are not going well and rely on the Almighty God to bring strength, vigor and wisdom into your situation, but that you can look with eyes of compassion to people around you and say, "I'm going to check and see that nobody gets into that position at least not on my watch. I don't want to ever have to say that I never saw the signs or I didn't care enough to ask them." Let's just be extra vigilant for people around us. Take the trouble to look for signs and then be able to do something that is proactive. If you don't know what to do, find a counselor who can help in that situation.
Remember as Phil Donahue said, "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." And it is temporary, but suicide is permanent. So let's do what we can to help people around us, at least those we know, to be able to say, "You can seize the day. It can be carpe diem in your life. This is the day that God has given to us and we can still rejoice and be glad in it. That's my prayer for each one of you on this call.
Can I pray with you? Almighty God, bless each one on this call. I pray that You would give us the wisdom to recognize telltale signs of depression amongst people around us. Show us how we can help. Help us to look with eyes of compassion and lean on Your wisdom and understanding. My prayer is that if there is anyone on this call who is depressed and thinking that there is nothing left, I pray that You would come alongside of them and help them to know that with You in the equation, they can face another day, because You are the one who brings hope. I pray this in Your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.
• "3000 people commit suicide everyday," http://www.thehealthsite.com/diseases-conditions/world-suicide-prevention-day-2012-3000-people-commit-suicide-every-day/
• "Recognizing and Helping a Suicidal Person," http://www.thehealthsite.com/diseases-conditions/world-suicide-prevention-day-2012-recognizing-and-helping-a-suicidal-person/
• "Robin Williams," http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Williams_filmography
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