I came across a little anecdote in a book that I have been reading by Simon Sinek, called 'Leaders Eat Last'. The author says, "I heard a story about a former Undersecretary of Defense, who gave a speech at a large conference. He took his place on the stage and began talking, sharing his prepared remarks with the audience. Then he paused to take a sip of coffee from the Styrofoam cup that he had brought on stage with him. He took another sip, looked down at the cup and smiled. 'You know,' he said, interrupting his own speech. 'I spoke here last year. I presented at this same conference, on this same stage. But last year, I was still an undersecretary. I flew here in business class and when I landed, there was someone waiting for me at the airport to take me to my hotel. Upon arriving at my hotel,' he continued, 'there was someone else waiting for me. They had already checked me into the hotel, so they handed me my key and escorted me up to my room.'
'The next morning when I came down, again there was someone waiting for me in the lobby to drive me to this same venue in which we are today. I was taken through a back entrance, shown to the green room and handed some coffee in a beautiful ceramic cup. But this year, as I stand here to speak to you, I am no longer the undersecretary. I flew here coach class and when I arrived at the airport yesterday, there was no one there to meet me. I took a taxi to the hotel, and when I got here, I checked myself in and then I went by myself to the room. This morning I came down to the lobby and caught another taxi to come here. I came in the front door and found my way backstage. Once there, I asked one of the techs if there was any coffee and he pointed to a coffee machine on a table against the wall. So I walked over and poured myself a cup of coffee into this here Styrofoam cup,' he said, as he raised the cup to show the audience. 'It occurs to me,' he continued, 'the ceramic cup they gave me last year was never meant for me at all. It was meant for the position I held. I deserve a Styrofoam cup.'
Then he goes on to say, 'This is probably the most important lesson I can impart to all of you. All the perks, all the advantages and benefits you may get for the rank or position you hold – they aren't meant for you. They are meant for the role you fill. And when you leave your role, which eventually you will, they will give the ceramic cup to the person who replaces you, because you will leave with your Styrofoam cup.'"
I read that and I thought that there was such a nugget of truth in that anecdote. Very often, the perks that we get are because of the office that we hold. The danger is always to take that office wherever we go, not realizing that it is temporal, and it will change.
I remember reading about Indra Nooyi, CEO, PepsiCo International, who said that one day, she came home and her mother met her at the door and she had great news because she had just got a promotion to the CEO post. She was bursting with excitement to tell her mother, who just said, "Indra, we don't have milk at home." She said, "I was standing there and thinking – here I am, President of PepsiCo, and I'm supposed to go out and get milk." Her mother told her, "I don't care who you are in the office. When you come home, you're first a wife and a mother and a daughter." Wise words from a wise lady!
The problem is that when we allow these things to take over and we begin to think that the office is us, then pride begins to creep in. pride invariably leads to downfall. The Bible says, "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor." "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." Both these are from Proverbs.
This made me think about pride and how we handle pride in our lives. How do we handle the offices that we hold, the designations that we have, the responsibilities that are given to us? How do we handle what comes after our name on our business cards? Are we able to dust it off as we leave the office or do we take it home? Do we take it to our friends? We need to be so careful about pride.
One of the first articles I read when I walked into the office this morning was an article by Derek van Bever entitled 'Uber needs our permission to grow,' Uber being the cab company that has done such a phenomenal job as a start-up. When all limousine and taxicab revenues in the US come to about $11 billion, Uber's revenue is $41 billion. That's how much they have done in five years. "Yet," he says, "it comes out of a realization he had many years earlier that said: Companies need society's permission to grow." When we look at what has happened about 2 months ago with the executive in Delhi who took an Uber cab and was raped by the driver and how Uber handled that. Then we see Air Asia's Tony Fernandes and how he handled the crash, being there, sending messages of absolute sympathy. "I apologize profusely for what they are going through. I am the leader of this company and I have to take responsibility," he said at a televised news conference.
On the other hand, I was reading when Uber started back services in Delhi, they sent an email message to the Delhi rape victim saying that they were back in business in Delhi. How indelicate could you get! Yet, this whole article that Derek van Bever wrote, says, "Uber has realized that you can't have this kind of a strategy of just pushing through." They are changing strategy because they realize that society has a say in what's going to happen to the future of the business. He says, "Now, Uber is eager to collaborate with local governments, as a kinder, gentler Uber. They're willing to calculate their contribution to sustainability and to getting cars off the road, beefing up safeguards, and so on.
We need to be so careful about pride. It's insidious; it's subtle. It grows on us, and then, before we know it, it's causing our downfall. How am I handling pride? That's the question I'm asking today. Am I handling pride well?
John Maxwell had an article on 'Pride – A Leader's Greatest Problem' in Leadership Wired. He quotes Dave Anderson, founder of LearntoLead.com. He said, "Dave Anderson says that there are many reasons why managers fail. For some, the organization outgrows them. Others don't change with the times. Some spread themselves too thin and work long and hard but not smart. Many abandon the priorities and disciplines that once made them great and never get back to them. A few make poor character choices…But all these causes for management failure have their root in one common cause: pride. In the simplest terms, pride is devastating. I'm not talking about the pride one has in their work or their accomplishments. I'm indicting the pride that inflates your sense of self-worth and distorts your perspective of reality."
What are the problems of have pride?
1. Pride stops us from building a team. We have this 'Superman Syndrome' – I can do it all.
2. Pride renders us unteachable – a know-everything attitude.
3. Pride closes our mind to feedback. As Steven Covey once said, "It takes humility to seek feedback."
4. Pride prevents us from admitting mistakes – won't allow for failure and blames mistakes on others.
5. Pride encourages poor character choices – start taking shortcuts.
How do we correct the Pride Problem?
1. Recognize your pride. "If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, you are very conceited indeed." – C. S. Lewis.
2. Admit your pride.
3. Express your gratitude. "A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves." – Henry Ward Beecher.
The ceramic cup and the Styrofoam cup – made me think today. Am I still holding on to a ceramic cup? Or do I look with reality at the Styrofoam and say, "Let me not get too caught up with who I am, or how I'm greeted, or the perks that I have. Let me have a clear identification of who I am, to walk with humility. Because pride is a dangerous thing to cultivate."
That's my prayer for myself and you. Let's be careful. Let's keep the ceramic cup in our minds and make sure that we hold all the trappings of who we are very loosely and are able to give it up. When we leave the office, when we walk into our homes, we're just spouses, or dads, or sons/daughters – just who we are as God has made us. We need to be so careful of pride. "Before his downfall, a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor." May that be true for your life and mine.
Can I pray with you? Almighty God, if there is any pride in any of us on this call, or those who will read this talk, deal with it, Master, bring it to our minds so that we can quickly take it away. Help us to come to a realistic understanding of who we are and as You see us, not with what we do or the things that are given to us. Help us to walk with humility. We ask this in Your name, Lord Jesus. Amen.
• Simon Sinek, "Leaders Eat Last." pgs 67-68.
• Rita Gunther McGrath, "Investors fawning over Uber should recall AOL's stumbles." https://hbr.org/2015/01/investors-fawning-over-uber-should-recall-aols-stumbles
• Derek van Bever, "Uber needs our permission to grow." https://hbr.org/2015/02/uber-needs-our-permission-to-grow
• "Uber sends email to rape victim saying'We're back in Delhi.'" Hindustan Times, 24 January 2015. http://www.hindustantimes.com/newdelhi/rape-victim-s-lawyer-not-confident-of-uber-safety-measures/article1-1310142.aspx
• "Air Asia boss Tony Fernandes applies deft touch in crash response," Economic Times 2 Jan 2015. http://articles.economictimes.indiatimes.com/2015-01-02/news/57611388_1_tony-fernandes-airasia-flight-370
• Christina Abraham, "25 Scripture verses on pride." http://www.womensbiblecafe.com/2009/11/25-scripture-verses-about-pride/
• John C. Maxwell, "Pride--A Leader's greatest problem." http://www.stma.org/sites/stma/files/pdfs/pride_a_leaders_greatest_problem.pdf
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