Let Your Mindset Grow

It's so good to be back after a fairly long break and I thank you for giving me that leeway to take a vacation and get recharged. My daughter Krista, who just graduated with a business degree, has been after me for the past year or so, to read a book called 'Mindset: The New Psychology of Success' written by Carol Dweck, a professor at Stanford University. I bought the book but had been putting off reading it, but finally used this vacation to read it. It is such a powerful book; I would strongly recommend it to every one of you.

In this book, she talks about two mindsets that we can have – the 'fixed' mindset or the 'growth' mindset. The fixed mindset is one that we have, which defines us permanently. We think – "This is it; we cannot change." The growth mindset, on the other hand, is a mindset that says that we can always develop; that we can continue to learn from the things that happen to us. As I went through this book, I thought that this is so important for us. Sometimes we determine failure and success through the grids or the mindsets that we have. She quotes a New York Times article that says, "Failure has been transformed from an action 'I failed' to an identity 'I am a failure'. This is especially true of a fixed mindset. Instead of looking at an action that has happened as 'I failed – it's a one-off thing; it happened', we tend to let it mold our identity saying, 'I am a failure' which is detrimental to progress.

As we look at fixed mindsets and growth mindsets, I want to see where each of you are as you look at your own lives. Do you see things that are permanent in your lives; they don't change, things that have been spoken over you, events that have happened that seem to have marked who for you are? Or, are you able to look at different events that have happened and see them as potentials for growth. That's the mindset that we need to have.

She goes on to reference Aaron Beck, the father of cognitive therapy. He said, "Beliefs are the key to either happiness or misery. Just before we are happy or miserable, is a belief or something that we believed in that is causing us to think or act in this particular way." Mindsets really frame this running account of what's happing in our lives. As we look at the events that go on in our lives, then our mindset begins to frame and cause conclusions that determine how we look at life.

Thinking about that, I thought that life is continuously about doing things – we attempt things, we fail/succeed in them. But they cannot be defining moments for us, in the sense that we say, "If this happened, then this is the kind of person I am." We ought to be able to look at the things that happen to us and then say, "Okay! It happened, but what can I do or learn from this and be able to move on."

While I was on vacation, I was lying in bed, deep in my thoughts, reminiscing about things that had happened, when my youngest granddaughter, all of 3 years old, walked into the room. She looked at me and asked me what I was doing. I said, "Just thinking, babe." She just stood there at my feet and as children are apt to do, she began to play with my feet. I watched her as she looked at my toes, picked my foot up and handled my toes. Then she looked up and said, "Grandpa, you have beautiful toes." I almost fell off the bed. Of all the body parts that I deemed beautiful, the toes were the last thing I would have considered. Suddenly I began to see my toes in a new light. From that point on, I must admit, that every time I see my toes, it brings a smile to my face. I think of her looking at my toes and telling me in all seriousness that they are beautiful. I caught myself once in a way, looking at my toes and saying, Hey, beautiful!" J strange! Something that I had never thought of before, has suddenly now made a huge difference.

I think, for us to handle life, we need to be able to look at the things that happen to us and not allow them to define who we are, but allow them to be defining moments in progressing through and seeing what we can learn from this. What has happened that will not allow me to be better than who I am? That's what a growth mindset is all about – that we are able to affirm ourselves. Don't knock ourselves down after a problem/failure, but look at it and say, "This is going to be a stepping stone to success in my life because I have a growth mindset."

Talking about affirmation, I'm always encouraged when I think of the Bible and the creation event, of how God made all things – the stars, the moon, the earth, the waters, the heavens and so on. At the end of it, when He had made man and woman, He said, "This is very good!" a pronouncement from God that we are very good. What more can we ask for?

I don't know where you are today along life's path, but maybe today's the day to just reach in and look for some affirming moment and let that be a pivot for you to turn on and say, "I'm going to allow this to change me. I'm going to use this to create new opportunities. I'm going to allow this to help me see life through a different perspective," and then be able to move on from where you are.

Any takers? J

Allow me to pray with you. Almighty God, You know exactly where we are, what's going on with our lives. I pray for each one, Master, that we wouldn't have a fixed mindset that is defining of us permanently, but an open mind that allows us to find affirming moments and use them as stepping stones to success, to being better than we are. If there are any reading this post who are struggling, I pray that You would minister to them, that You would bring to their minds, wonderful affirming moments of who they are and what quality people they are and how wonderfully they have done in the past. May they then turn around and look with confidence to the days and months and years ahead. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

•       Carol S. Dweck, "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success."

•       Biblical reference: Genesis 1:31