Dealing with Anger Positively

Every time I go to Thane, which for the non-Mumbaikar is a suburb of Mumbai, I pass a hospital that has been shut down. It once was a flourishing hospital, but some years ago, according to newspaper reports, the death of an influential person in the hospital resulted in a mob rioting, and trashing the entire hospital. The organization shut down the hospital and it now stands as a relic; a stark reminder of what anger and its destructive qualities can do. Because of that spurt of anger and the behavior associated with it, thousands of people have lost the benefits of a hospital in that area.

 

Winston Churchill said, "A man is about as big as the things that make him angry."  The Greek philosopher Aristotle puts this statement into perspective when he says, "Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not within everyone's power, and that is not easy."  Often, to be angry at the right time and in the right way is not easy.  This is a profound statement. It acknowledges the emotion of anger but points out that the right way to deal with the anger is to pay attention to the timing, direction and purpose of that anger.  Anger after all, is an emotion that is built into our DNA; It's an emotion that arises when we are exposed to something that is wrong or unjust.  However, in venting this emotion of anger, the difficulty really is, as Aristotle stated, in being able to express it in the right way.

 

This can be one of the hardest things in the workplace today. We can get angry for myriad reasons – a computer that doesn't boot up, a virus that infects our computer, corrupted files, colleagues who are being selfish. While any number of experiences in the workplace can contribute towards anger, yet, often in the workplace, there is no politically correct way to express that anger. However, one feels the need to address or express the emotion of anger.  When there is no overt behavioral response, the anger is often internalized, and implosive anger causes us harm.   Therefore, "How do we handle anger?" is the question. If we cannot express our anger through destructive and counter-productive behaviors such as shouting at somebody, or throwing something, what can we do to allow anger to be vented in a way that is not harmful, both to us and to the people that we work with? I think that is the key for us.

 

I did my undergraduate studies in a college in upstate New York. The college was nestled in a heavily wooded area that received heavy snowfall during the winter. I remember one day a pall of gloom hung over the college because we had learnt that two of our students while driving round a curve, had been fatally hit by another car. There was shock and anger in the college. I remember our academic dean talking to us, trying to address the injustice of the fact that two of our young people, ready to get into important things in life, suddenly had their lives snuffed out. He said, "This morning, I was so angry. I walked up the mountain and I just screamed and gave vent to my anger."

 

This productive way of dealing with his anger has always stayed with me. The Dean wanted to express his anger in some way and he found a place that he could do it, in a non-destructive way. Similarly, we need to find ways to express anger, and not suppress it.  If we suppress our anger there is a possibility we may take it into our homes where it can affect families and relationships.  Sometimes, we tend to vent our anger unknowingly on our loved ones who are closest to us who have no reason or understanding of why it is happening.

 

So, this morning, I want to invite you to think about anger. Maybe you are going through a difficult time, maybe you are angry with a colleague, the system or an injustice done. Maybe you haven't really expressed it in the workplace but you're expressing it at home. Or maybe you haven't addressed the anger at all, and it is eating you up on the inside. Maybe today you need to find your mountain. Maybe today you need to find a friend who will listen to you empathetically. Or maybe today you just need to write about it-journal it. But I want to encourage you this morning. Don't let anger be so explosive that it hurts those who are not responsible for it. Don't let anger be implosive; that is, you don't deal with it and it begins to work on your own mental state. Find a healthy way to deal with it.

 

Our Holy Scriptures say: "In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." Deal with it and deal with it in a healthy way.  Take it to God in prayer.  "Cast your burdens on the Lord and He shall sustain you". That's my hope and my prayer for each one of you this morning.

 

May I pray with you? Almighty God, our Heavenly Father, we come to you today as human beings, as ones who have a penchant to getting angry at situations, circumstances, people and injustice around us. Help us to deal with it in a good way, in ways that do not harm ourselves or other people, people that we love and care for.  Help us to find constructive ways to deal with the behavior of anger. We ask this in Jesus' precious name. Amen.

 

References:

·       Ephesians 4:26

·       Psalm 55:32