While reflecting and praying on what to share with you, my mind went back to an incident that happened many years ago. When I was 15, just getting into high school (which was the 11th std at that time) my parents, in desperation I think, promised me a gold ring if I passed the 11th std with a first class. I just about did, and the gold ring was my prized possession for about 9 years. Then one day, when we were on the beach in Mumbai having a good time with some friends, while playing around in the water, I felt the ring slip off my finger. A wave had come in and was just beginning to go out again; those of you who have been in the sea, know the strong current that pulls as the wave is going out. I desperately tried to catch the ring, but it fell to the ground. I saw it through about a foot of water and stomped my foot on the spot where it had fallen. I could feel the ring under my foot but could also feel the wave pulling strongly at it. To my horror, I could feel the sand underneath giving way. When the wave had gone, I plunged my hand into the sand, desperately searching for the ring, but there was no sign of it. The next wave then came in and I knew that it was a lost cause.
I remembered that today and wondered why it came to mind. I began to play around with it and realized that there are actually life lessons to be learnt from that. As I began to try and break up that whole incident, 3 things came to mind.
There’s a right place for everything. The things that are given to us belong to us, but need to be used in the right place. I think that if they are not used in the right place, then we may end up losing them. Take authority for example. Authority is given to you, and to me, to be used in the right place. But so often, we allow that authority to be used in wrong places. Sometimes we take the authority that is to be used in the office to our homes, and the results can be catastrophic. We use authority that should be used in a particular situation in a department, in another department; and again the results are far from what we want to end up with.
How do you and I use authority? Is it in the right place? Are we making sure that it stays there? It’s all about doing the right thing. It’s not about rule so much as it is about being honest about something in our life. It’s more about ethical governance.
I love this article by Vineet Nayar, CEO of HCL Technologies Ltd. entitled ‘Corporate Ethics Isn’t About Rules; It’s About Honesty’. He says, “It matters little what you do as long as you live your life with pride. It is fine to earn more as long as it is done honestly and not at the cost of others. It is resulting in a search for the ‘ethical quotient’ among leaders. Going beyond the intelligence quotient and the emotional quotient, it is seeking answers to important questions such as: how much is too much? How big do you want to be? How far are you willing to go to get there? Is being big more important that being trusted?”
All of these questions come to the fore as we look at the authority, the places that we have. We ask ourselves, “Are we placing ourselves in the right place or is the authority that we have getting smudged and blurred, going out to places where it ought not to be, ethically or honestly?” There is a right place for everything.
Secondly, if it’s out of its place, even if it belongs to you, it’s fair game for everything or everyone else. Take your salary, the perks that come with the job; it should go back to the family. It should go back to making sure that you are sustaining your family, children’s education, putting aside for a home, all the things that are important for a good life. But what if that remuneration found itself to a bar where there is excessive drinking, or a gambling place; it’s out of place. It still belongs to you, but suddenly its fair game for everyone else. It belongs to you; it’s yours, but it is in the wrong place and there are other forces that now begin to work on it.
E. Bergler, writing in Psychology of Gambling in 1957 says, “The gambler is apparently the last optimist. He is a creature totally unmoved by experience. His belief in ultimate success cannot be shattered by financial loss, however great. He did not win today – so what? Tomorrow will be lucky. He’s lost again? It doesn’t prove a thing. Someday he’s bound to win.”
You lose a grip on reality. What belongs to you is being used in those kinds of settings. Even though it’s yours, it is out of its place and there are so many forces that will try and take it from you.
Thirdly, what is yours, but out of place, can be lost even if you are connected to it. Take our loved ones, children, for example. Sometimes we are still connected to our children via a phone that we have, that we’ve given to them. We trust that will take care of things, at the expense of spending time, at the expense of an evening game with them or just going out for a cup of coffee.
The ring was connected to my foot but it was out of place and I lost it. It’s so important for the things that we have, to make sure that the connection is good. And more importantly, that it’s the right connection that we have with our loved ones, our spouses, our family and our children.
Lorraine Pirihi, writing in an article ‘Are You Too Busy For Your Kids?’ says, “Nothing changes, if nothing changes.” I love that!
I wonder if there is a need for change this morning. Just 3 thoughts for all of us, including me:
God Bless Us All.
I remembered that today and wondered why it came to mind. I began to play around with it and realized that there are actually life lessons to be learnt from that. As I began to try and break up that whole incident, 3 things came to mind.
- There is a right place for everything: the right place for that ring was on my finger, nowhere else.
- If something is out of its place, even if it belongs to you, it’s fair game for everything else. The ring should have been on my finger; it was on the ground. It belonged to me, but it was fair game for the elements as well.
- What is yours, but out of place, can be lost even if you are connected to it. The ring was mine; I was still connected to it. I had my foot on it but it was not in its place. It was not meant to be under my foot and I lost it.
There’s a right place for everything. The things that are given to us belong to us, but need to be used in the right place. I think that if they are not used in the right place, then we may end up losing them. Take authority for example. Authority is given to you, and to me, to be used in the right place. But so often, we allow that authority to be used in wrong places. Sometimes we take the authority that is to be used in the office to our homes, and the results can be catastrophic. We use authority that should be used in a particular situation in a department, in another department; and again the results are far from what we want to end up with.
How do you and I use authority? Is it in the right place? Are we making sure that it stays there? It’s all about doing the right thing. It’s not about rule so much as it is about being honest about something in our life. It’s more about ethical governance.
I love this article by Vineet Nayar, CEO of HCL Technologies Ltd. entitled ‘Corporate Ethics Isn’t About Rules; It’s About Honesty’. He says, “It matters little what you do as long as you live your life with pride. It is fine to earn more as long as it is done honestly and not at the cost of others. It is resulting in a search for the ‘ethical quotient’ among leaders. Going beyond the intelligence quotient and the emotional quotient, it is seeking answers to important questions such as: how much is too much? How big do you want to be? How far are you willing to go to get there? Is being big more important that being trusted?”
All of these questions come to the fore as we look at the authority, the places that we have. We ask ourselves, “Are we placing ourselves in the right place or is the authority that we have getting smudged and blurred, going out to places where it ought not to be, ethically or honestly?” There is a right place for everything.
Secondly, if it’s out of its place, even if it belongs to you, it’s fair game for everything or everyone else. Take your salary, the perks that come with the job; it should go back to the family. It should go back to making sure that you are sustaining your family, children’s education, putting aside for a home, all the things that are important for a good life. But what if that remuneration found itself to a bar where there is excessive drinking, or a gambling place; it’s out of place. It still belongs to you, but suddenly its fair game for everyone else. It belongs to you; it’s yours, but it is in the wrong place and there are other forces that now begin to work on it.
E. Bergler, writing in Psychology of Gambling in 1957 says, “The gambler is apparently the last optimist. He is a creature totally unmoved by experience. His belief in ultimate success cannot be shattered by financial loss, however great. He did not win today – so what? Tomorrow will be lucky. He’s lost again? It doesn’t prove a thing. Someday he’s bound to win.”
You lose a grip on reality. What belongs to you is being used in those kinds of settings. Even though it’s yours, it is out of its place and there are so many forces that will try and take it from you.
Thirdly, what is yours, but out of place, can be lost even if you are connected to it. Take our loved ones, children, for example. Sometimes we are still connected to our children via a phone that we have, that we’ve given to them. We trust that will take care of things, at the expense of spending time, at the expense of an evening game with them or just going out for a cup of coffee.
The ring was connected to my foot but it was out of place and I lost it. It’s so important for the things that we have, to make sure that the connection is good. And more importantly, that it’s the right connection that we have with our loved ones, our spouses, our family and our children.
Lorraine Pirihi, writing in an article ‘Are You Too Busy For Your Kids?’ says, “Nothing changes, if nothing changes.” I love that!
I wonder if there is a need for change this morning. Just 3 thoughts for all of us, including me:
- There’s a right place for everything. Let’s make sure that we have everything in the right place.
- Out of its place, even if it belongs to you, it’s fair game for everyone else. Let’s make sure that it’s not fair game for everyone else.
- What is yours, but is out of place, can be lost even if you are connected to it. Let’s make sure that the way we are connected to it, is the way we ought to be connected with the things that belong to us.
God Bless Us All.
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