I was reading a blog written by a lady who was writing about a jockey called Kent Desormeaux and his horse Big Brown. Big Brown was in a race, Kent Desormeaux, being a well-known jockey had a lot riding on this race – a lot of bets were placed on this horse. Halfway through the race, he felt there was something wrong with his horse. So he pulled up the horse, and finished last. He didn't care about his reputation or the number of people who had money on the horse. He cared more about the well being of his horse.
Writing in her blog, this lady says, "Wouldn't it be great if we all had someone like that, someone who was in tune with us, enough to know when we don't have it in us or are not able to complete what everyone expects of us. Or just know that today is not our day and pull us out." Sometimes we get to a point in our lives where we just long for someone to tell us that it's okay not to be able to finish something; it's okay to change tracks; it's okay to remember that some days, it's not about winning the race. It's about having someone along for the ride who's biggest and whose only concern is you, like Kent was for his horse Big Brown. He didn't want to jeopardize his horse by pushing it, and decided to pull back and come in last.
As we go about life's journey, every now and then, we too almost need the permission to not come in first, to not do something that wins us accolades, to be able to change and not think that we are losers because of it. I sometimes think that in a world where everything is about winning and success, to be able to look at our lives and the things that we do and say, "This is not what I want to do, and I'm just going to get out of it," may be the best option for us in some situations, and yet, what comes against us is the pressure of the many one-liners that we hear in any number of motivational speeches that say: "Winners never quit and quitters never win," and so on. It puts so much pressure on us just to keep going, when in fact, probably the best thing that we could have done in a particular situation was to just call "Time Out!"
A business professor gave some good advice to a person who was starting out. He said, "Know this. Know when to quit. Set a goal, a benchmark, a standard and make sure that everyone involved understands that if you don't hit that mark on time, then it's time to pack up, call it a day and learn from your failure. Otherwise, you run the risk of continually walking down the path to nowhere, and you'll waste time, money and energy that could have been placed somewhere better." Good advice – to know when to quit, to understand when a business plan is not working, and to know when things are not going well for you and the best option is to just stop.
I don't know if you have read a book that came out a few years ago by Seth Godin called 'The Dip'. It was a controversial book because of his very premise which was – sometimes we don't know that it is more profitable and more in line with a person's talents and abilities to quit than to keep going. He said, "It's not just about quitting. It's called 'Strategic Quitting'. It simply means that you can quit the project intelligently and purposefully because you know it's not the right objective for you and your company. As a matter of fact, you're not merely quitting; you're actually moving on to more important, relevant and realistic goals that are more in line with your own abilities and resources."
Many people in the know say that Michael Jordan should have stayed retired, that he made one of the biggest blunders when he donned the jersey for Washington Wizards once again after he had quit from the Chicago Bulls. And sometimes, we can get into that kind of a rut as well. We don't know when it's time to quit. We just want to keep going, and keep going to the point where it is detrimental to our own health and our resources and talents are not being optimized.
I wonder whether I am speaking to any of you on this call. I wonder whether what I am saying resonates with you. Sometimes we can get into this place very subtly. There are so many things happening in our lives that we are not sure that we are really on the path that we ought to be. There are so many balls in the air. It's very difficult to be objective and very often we end up going through the motions – throwing the balls up and trying to catch them. It's a mindless routine. We start the day like that and end up tired and fatigued, not even sure whether we have achieved anything at all in our lives. Maybe it's time to just stop, take a deep breath and say, "I have all these things going on in my life, but are they actually achieving anything? Am I really getting anywhere with what's going on in my life?"
Sheena Iyengar, a management professor at Columbia Business School, did a study. She went into a department store and offered one group of people samples of 6 different jams available for purchase, while she offered another group 24 different jams including the 6 that were offered to the first group. With all that choice, you'd think that the group offered the 24 samples would be more likely to purchase one. But it was the exact opposite. Those in the 6-jam group turned out to be 10 times more likely to purchase a jar of jam. Her premise was this: the more numerous our options, the more difficult it becomes to choose a single one, and we end up choosing none at all. That's what can happen when we too have many things going on with us. Too many balls in the air – we can get overwhelmed and don't do anything at all. I wonder how things are with you.
I wonder whether, as I speak, you get the sense that there are a lot of things that you are doing, and yet you have many questions about whether they are achieving anything at all. I wonder whether it's time to just look at the things you are doing and decide what needs to get out of your life. What do you need to stop and what do you need to focus on?
Peter Bregman, writing in a blog for Harvard Business Review says, "When we get into this kind of position where possibly we're getting overwhelmed, then the key is to be able to manage to get through the situation. Come to a place of sanity." He says that this is what has worked for him. "Break it up into the hours in a day."
1. Spend a few minutes writing down everything that you need to do on a piece of paper. Resist the urge to use technology for this task ( I would add a smiley face to this J, because sometimes it is better to put pen to paper than fingertips to keyboard, it helps to remember things better)
2. Spend 15 minutes, no more, knocking out as many of the easiest fastest tasks that you can. Make quick phone calls, send short emails. Don't worry about whether they are important tasks on the list. You are just creating momentum. The goal is to cross out as many items as possible in the shortest time. Use a timer, keep focused.
3. When your 15 minutes are up, shut down your phone, turn down your computer and choose the most daunting thing on your list, one that instills the most stress or has the highest priority. Then work on it and only it, without hesitation or distraction for about 35 minutes. Then take a break for about 10 minutes and then start the hour-long process again.
Working within a specific and limited time frame is important because the race against time keeps it focused. When our stress is generalized, it's difficult to manage it. But when you give yourself short time frames, it gets very specific and it's easier to handle.
I wonder how many balls you have up in the air today. I wonder how many of those balls just need to drop. I wonder how many you need to focus on today and say, "This is what I need to put my energy into, and the other things I just need to quit strategically." I hope and pray that you will do it, because when you have too many things going on in your life, then you don't have time for the more important things. Sometimes it's just pride that keeps us going – "What would people think or say if I quit?" I have found that sometimes, it's best to give permission to your spouse or to good friends who care about you and say, "Anytime you see me involved in too many things or activities that are going nowhere, tell me because I want to hear it from you."
I want to leave you with some words from our Scriptures, because the greatest support we can get is from the Almighty God. He says, "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burnt up; the flames will not consume you for I am the Lord, Your God."
May I offer this prayer on your behalf?
Almighty God, give to each one of us on this call, the wisdom and the knowledge to know when to quit some of the things that we are doing, so that we can better optimize the gifts and talents that you have given us and be able to do what we are supposed to do and be who we ought to be. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
