Some lines from Rudyard Kipling's poem "If" caught my attention:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
And then he goes on:
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
He ends by saying:
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And – which is more- you'll be a Man, my son!
Or a woman of substance, I'd like to add, to make it inclusive. I like the thrust of these words because it tells us we should be able to go through life with a sense of harmony and equilibrium and a clear knowledge that "Triumph and Disaster" are just two imposters, and we need to be able to treat them both as such. In other words, as we go through life and experience the highs and lows, to know they are part of life and not to give ourselves an undue sense of achievement or pride in the triumphs. Because disasters and lows too, are part of life. The ability to walk with that kind of attitude through life is what will make us men and women of substance.
These words resonated with some thoughts that had been floating around in my head for 4 or 5 days after seeing the following tweet: "When @nextjump recruited engineers from top schools, only 50% worked out…difference we found was humility versus entitlement." There were many from these schools who came in with a sense of entitlement i.e. "I'm here. Recognize who I am. Give me my due and let's move on," as opposed to coming in with an attitude of humility. It made me think - I'm sure you and I both have come across people like that in the past, possessing that sense of entitlement: "I'm here. This is who I am. This is what I deserve. Serve me."
Peter Schankman wrote an article about this. When he was on a panel at his alma mater Boston University, somebody asked him what would absolutely guarantee that he would never give them a job if he were on a recruiting panel. He says, interestingly, "The answer was pretty simple: If they came in with even the slightest sense of entitlement, I'd never hire them."
Reading through his article made it clear how easily one can be that person. Maybe I've been there. And it's always wise to be able to say – I need to be careful. The moment we move away and say – "That's not me!" we are on the path headed in that very direction. Schankman says that when looking for entitlement in ourselves, there are a couple of warning signs in our thoughts and attitude:
· "Look how important I am!" Do we project this attitude because of who we are, what we've done, what we've studied, where we've gone to college or university, the kind of job we have, or our title? Do we walk into a place with the attitude – look how important I am?
· "I'm owed something just for showing up!"
It's a good thing for us to always be wary of these attitudes. They can creep up on one. They come in slowly—seductively almost—and capture us. Yet these are attitudes that don't resonate well at all in the workplace.
David French writes and he says, "I've observed that entitled employees are miserable even at amazing workplaces, while humble employees can find joy virtually anywhere." The old adage is so true: Pride goes before a fall. To have an attitude of entitlement means we have, and are nurturing, pride. We need to stop and check our own lives for this pervasive spirit of entitlement. French goes on to say, "The choice between entitlement and humility is often the choice between frustration and contentment, between anger and joy. It can also represent the choice between success and failure. To be valued in the workplace, one must first demonstrate that they are valuable. So before making demands, try making an effort. You'll soon find that life works better that way."
Good words! A good reality check for all of us – to make sure we are not on the path of entitlement but that of humility. Humility often brings contentment, joy and a sense of well being for each of us. I think that is so important. "If we can dream and not make dreams our master; if we can think and not make thoughts our aim; if we can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same," then we have arrived at a place where our own sense of self-worth is not inflated and others recognize the tremendous value we can add by our involvement.
I would love to hear your thoughts, or maybe other things we need to watch out for so that we too, don't go down the path of entitlement. So write back if you can – I would love to read your comments, so that we can all be careful of this seductive, destructive slippery slope.
May I offer this prayer on our behalf?
Almighty God, move us away from that path which can be destructive. Help us to walk humbly before you. We pray that through these days, You would speak to us and warn us about areas of our lives that may be leading us into an attitude of entitlement; we lean on your wisdom for that. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
References:
· David French, "A Word to Entitled Millennials in the Workplace: Give Humility a Try." http://www.nationalreview.com/article/425712/millennials-workplace-entitlement
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