I speak to you today with a backdrop of needless events that have happened in the last week that have left so many people in a state of grief. I refer to the unfortunate stampede at Elphinstone Road station in Mumbai, where 22 people lost their lives and so many more were injured. Then yesterday, the horrific shooting at a country music festival in Las Vegas, where 58 were killed and over 500 were injured. It made me feel so sad as I thought about it. How unnecessary this was! Ordinary events like going to work turned into a nightmare. Harmless events like going for a music festival to enjoy oneself turned into a deathtrap. It's left so many people grieving.
And it made me think about grief. You may be familiar with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross who brought out the 5 stages of grief. She said that a person going through a loss, whatever the loss is, be it a loved one or a job or even a pet, can go through these 5 stages and spend various periods of time on these 5 stages. It starts with denial; then there's anger at what has happened; then a bargaining that happens more with the Almighty God on how this could have been allowed; then depression as the reality of this passing sinks in; and then finally moves to acceptance. Acceptance is the point at which they are able to move on, either by saying that they can't do anything about the situation or decide for themselves that it's time that they move on.
It's very important that people process through these stages, because jumping over any of these stages can have a very detrimental effect to the well-being of the person. People around them need to give them the time to go through these stages. So often I've heard people comforting someone saying, "It's ok. Don't cry. Don't worry. It will all be well." These are just empty words that really have no meaning. You cannot tell a person in grief that everything is going to be well or to just get on with it. They have to take the time that they need to go through all these stages before they can once again enter into a kind of well-being with life.
Thinking about that made me think about the workplace as we deal with people, see them in varying places, not necessarily in terms of grief but just in terms of emotions. Paul Ekman had put down Six Basic Emotions that are widely recognized. Why emotions? This is because emotions are the expressions that we see, either through demeanor or behavior or just facial expression that are a reflection of some of the deeper issues that are going on in our hearts or in our lives, like grief at the loss of a loved one. Sometimes the people who come to work may have lost a loved one that you and I don't know about, or going through a difficult time, or enjoying something, or whatever. Emotions are the outward expressions of what's going on inside. It gives us a window into a person's life.
What are those 6 basic emotions?
· Anger – at something that was undeserved maybe, that may have come up in the workplace.
· Disgust – at a colleague or a situation that didn't pan out as it should have and could easily have been handled better
· Fear – of the unknown, of appraisals that may be taking place, the job, relationship with your boss or supervisor that is not going too well.
· Joy – maybe at something that has come up. It could be a sale that has come through, you've done well at something and been recognized for it.
· Sadness – the loss of something
· Surprise – which could be good or bad.
All of these emotions play out in the workplace and we deal with them every day. Sometimes we can get so focused on the job at hand that we don't recognize these emotions in colleagues or people who are working with us. Yet, it would be bad for productivity itself within the organization to ignore any of these emotions and just say, "Come on. Get on with it. We have a job to do." Sometimes it's better to take the time to figure out what's going on and be of help than to just run roughshod over them.
I bring this up because very often we get so focused in our work day that we don't really look deep into people's eyes and see the hollowness that has suddenly become part of their demeanor or make up. Or we don't look at people and see lines of regret or sadness that may have enveloped them. We have a task that needs to be done and we just go on doing it. And yet, I submit to you that if we don't take care of the personal issues of some of the people working with us, then it will definitely affect the kind of productivity that is going to be associated with their work. And even beyond that. I think the more humane thing to do is to be able to reach out and assuage and be a person of comfort to people who are around us who may be going through a very difficult time.
I hope that somehow, these words will spur you to look at your workplace through a different set of lenses today; to look at colleagues and really look at them and see whether they need an encouraging word, or they need somebody to just talk to them, or somebody to help them or do something that will help them get through the day. The days are hard enough as it is without having to deal with all the externals that sometimes, unfortunate situations and circumstances, especially like the recent events, bring into our lives. Maybe today is a day where we can say, "I'm going to watch out for my brother, or my sister."
I'm reminded of what our Scriptures say: Treat others the same way as you would want them to treat you. So true! If we were going through a situation like that, we would want other people to treat us with empathy. Maybe today's a day that we can just look beyond targets and sales, even beyond the façades, and see whether there's a need for us to ask the question. Or just reach out and be there for somebody who's going through a difficult time. My prayer is that we would take the time for it.
Allow me to pray with you. Almighty God, give us eyes today to see beyond what is visible, to hear beyond the things that are being said, and to be men and women who care, who reach out and are able to alleviate pain and suffering of colleagues around us. Help us to showcase Your love, Master, in ways that will assuage and alleviate feelings of sadness and fear and doubt, and bring healing into the workplace. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
· Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, "On Death & Dying," http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684839385/?tag=psychcentral/103-0294974-7613462?ref=nosim
· Paul Ekman, "Six Basic Emotions," https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contempt
· Bible reference, Luke 6:31 NET
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