As the year 2017 begins to wind down to the end, I seem to be in a self-assessment mode, looking at life and asking questions. I found myself looking at this poem by Rudyard Kipling called 'If'. It goes like this:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And – which is more – you'll be a Man, my son! (or woman of substance, I'd like to add, to make it inclusive)
I like the thrust of these words, because it tells us that we should be able to go through life with a sense of balance and a clear knowledge that triumph and disaster are just two imposters. Highs and lows! And to know that they are all a part of life, and not to give ourselves an undue sense of achievement or pride in the triumphs because disasters too, are a part of life. The ability to walk with that kind of attitude through life is what will make us men and women of substance.
These words resonated with some thoughts that had been floating around in my head for some time after seeing a tweet that went like this: "When @nextjump recruited engineers from top schools, only 50% worked out. Difference, we found, was humility vs. entitlement." There were many from these schools who came in with a sense of entitlement, i.e. I'm here, recognize who I am, give me my due and let's move on. As opposed to coming in with an attitude of humility.
It made me think. I'm sure you and I, both have come across people like that in the past, possessing that sense of entitlement – I'm here. This is who I am. This is what I deserve. Serve me.
Peter Shankman wrote an article about this when he was on a panel at his alma mater at Boston University. Somebody asked him what would absolutely guarantee that he would never give them a job if he were on a recruiting panel? He says, interestingly, "The answer was very simple. If they came in with even the slightest sense of entitlement, I'd never hire them."
When we hear something like this, and we do a quick soul search, our response can be quite revealing. We can either say immediately, "That's not me!" or "Is that me?" I always think that the proper growth response is to ask the question: Is it me? When we don't think we can be faulted, the red signs are up. We're in a dangerous place.
What are the warning signs? Shankman gives us a few:
Look how important I am. Do we project this attitude because of who we are, what we've done, what we've studied, where we've gone to college/university, the kind of job we have or a title? Do we walk into a place with the attitude – look how important I am. I'm owed something just for showing up. It's always a good thing for us to be wary of these attitudes. Why? Because they can creep up on us. They come in slowly, seductively almost and capture us. And yet, these are attitudes that don't resonate well at all in the workplace.
David French writes, "I've observed that entitled employees are miserable even at amazing work places while humble employees can find joy virtually anywhere." The old adage is true: Pride goes before a fall. To have an attitude of entitlement means we have, and are nurturing, pride. We need to stop and check our own lives for this pervasive spirit of entitlement.
French goes on to say, "The choice between entitlement and humility is often the choice between frustration and contentment, between anger and joy. It can also represent the choice between success and failure. To be valued in the workplace, one must first demonstrate that they're valuable. So before making demands, try making an effort. You'll soon find that life works better that way."
Good words! And probably a good reality check for all of us. To make sure that we're not on the path of entitlement, but that of humility. Humility usually brings contentment, joy and a sense of well-being for each one of us. I think that's so important. If we go back to that quote by Kipling – "If we can dream and not make dreams our Master; if we can think and not make thoughts our aim; if we can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters just the same. Then we have arrived at a place where our own sense of self-worth is not inflated, and others recognize the tremendous value we can add by our involvement.
Our Scriptures give us a nice guideline to go by. It says, "Do not think of yourselves more highly than you ought, but rather, think of yourselves with sober judgment." Good words! I would love to hear your thoughts on what you think of this whole idea of entitlement. In fact, I long for comments from you. How has the talk impacted you? Has there been a new thought that has struck you? Has what I've said intersected with where you are in life? Have you been challenged to think differently? Would you like to write to me about something that's going on in your life? Do you need prayer for a difficult time? You can write to me separately. Do you need help or has this helped you to navigate or brought clarity to a current situation in your life? You can always write to me at cecilclements@corporatecapsules.com. But I would love to hear from you, whether it's on this talk or whether it's on a WhatsApp group. Your comments are precious to me because it helps me to know whether what I'm saying is connecting with you all.
Entitlement – something that we need to watch out for. May I offer this prayer on our behalf? Almighty God, move us away from that path which can be destructive. Help us to walk humbly before You. We pray that through these days, You would speak to us and warn us about areas in our lives that may be leading us into an attitude of entitlement. We lean on Your wisdom for that. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
· Rudyard Kipling, "If" http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772
· Peter Schankman, "Entitlement: Your Biggest Flaw." http://shankman.com/entitlement-kills/
· David French, "A Word to Entitled Millennials in the Workplace: Give Humility a Try." http://www.nationalreview.com/article/425712/millennials-workplace-entitlement
· Entitlement tweet. https://twitter.com/nextjump
. Scripture reference: Romans 12:3
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