by Dr. Cecil Clements (26th June 2012)
I came across an article that grabbed my attention. The title was ‘What Captures Your Attention Controls Your Life’ by Kare Anderson. Basically she says that a couple of years ago, she was hired along with a cultural anthropologist to observe Disney World executives and watch them as they moved around with their toddlers and infants at all theme parks in Orlando, Florida. She expected that what would capture the toddler’s attention was all the costumed cast members, animated creatures, twirling rides, sweet-smelling snacks and toys. But to her surprise, and the surprise of her anthropologist colleague, they found, after hours of close observation, that what captured the attention of the children was not Disney-conjured magic. Instead it was their parents’ cell phones, especially when their parents were using them.
Those kids clearly understood what held their parents’ attention - it wasn’t them or the rides - and they wanted it too. When the parents were on the phone, their attention was turned to their parents and they were vying for that attention.
Well, she got my attention with this article because I spent a fair amount of time thinking that through. Wow! What captures our attention controls our life. How does that pan out in our different scenarios? Or to be more specific, how does it pan out in our corporate world? Anderson goes on to say, “As leaders, what you pay attention to, not only controls your own brain, but sets the example for your team.” The key is always about wanting to build relationships. It must be that at the end of the day, the things that we have communicated, all the things that we have worked together, have gone to build a relationship. And as the kids found out, you don’t build a relationship with mom and dad if mom and dad are always talking on a phone to somebody else. They were vying for that relationship.
The people we are face to face with are no longer opportunities for conversations. We become so caught up with everything else that even in the space that we have with people, we are actually focused on something else. And cell phones have really become the bane of that. They have their pros and cons – I’m not trying to debunk the cell phone; it’s a great asset. But relationships suffer when our attention is not on them.
As I look at this question, as leaders, what do we pay attention to that has a bearing on not only what I begin to think about, but on the people around me? Then it is very important to know what it is we are zeroing in on. If there are ramifications for people around us, then what are we modeling? What are we inspiring people to do?
I remember (and I say this with sadness in my heart) talking to somebody who was telling me how difficult his office setting was, because he had a couple of colleagues who in their spare time, would get on to internet porn sites. They would call him to come and watch stuff. He said, “I didn’t want to; yet there was so much pressure on me to go and join them.” How sad! What a difficult way to function in an office – to find yourself under that kind of pressure. The truth is that we are always influencing people, for good or for bad.
I remember the lines of a song that my wife and I used to sing some years ago.
You may say to yourself, “It’s my life I’m living. So I’ll do the things that I want to do.” But my friend, won’t you watch the things you are doing, Just remember, somebody’s watching you.
Life isn’t just about yourself. Whether you like it or not, remember we are always influencing people, for good or for bad.
I remember when I was in my teens; I was part of a great group of people who did some wonderful singing. I was privileged to be a part of them. After one particular concert, they had all got together and everyone was enjoying a drink. I was the youngest in the group. One of the guys asked me what I would have and I replied that I didn’t drink. He began to mock me – “C’mon, what do you mean you don’t drink. You must have one. We’re celebrating.” There was an older person in that group who stepped in and he said to this other person, “If he has a drink today, I’ll throw you out of this group.”
I’ve never forgotten that incident; I’ve never forgotten that person. He’s been a wonderful role model in my life all these years. Whether we like it or not, we have the opportunity to influence people. And we ought to take that opportunity. What captures your attention controls your life but also has the potential of molding somebody else’s life.
In our Holy Book we have a thought that comes about right living that says, “When we look at our own rights and the responsibilities that we have, the responsibilities that we have to people around us always outweighs our own rights.” Matthew 17:24-27. Rights have to do with me. It’s about me; it’s selfish and taken to an extreme, it’s narcissistic.
It’s interesting that the DSM (The APA Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in their 2013 edition is going to remove Narcissistic Personality Disorders. It’s no longer a disorder. It’s beginning to be the norm. That’s such a telling statement – that more and more, we are beginning to be so focused on ourselves that we are forgetting the people around us.
Maybe it’s time that we began to take responsibility for people around us. Let’s see what captures our attention. Make sure that those things are good things because they have the potential to control not only our life, but also the lives of people all around us. So let’s make sure that what captures our attention are things that would add and enhance the quality of not only our life but of the people around us.
That’s the challenge that I believe we need to take with us today. Let it not be about us; let it be about people around us and how we can enhance the quality of their life. And as we do that, automatically we will find that our quality of life has also been enhanced.
Let me pray with you: Almighty God, today would you turn our eyes and our attention away from ourselves. Help us to see people around us. Help us to focus on them. Help our thoughts to dwell on good things, things of good repute. Help us to think of things that are excellent so that that controls our life and in turn, control the lives of people all around us. Move us away from our rights to the responsibilities that we have towards other people around us. I pray a blessing on each one on this call, in the name of Jesus. Amen.
I came across an article that grabbed my attention. The title was ‘What Captures Your Attention Controls Your Life’ by Kare Anderson. Basically she says that a couple of years ago, she was hired along with a cultural anthropologist to observe Disney World executives and watch them as they moved around with their toddlers and infants at all theme parks in Orlando, Florida. She expected that what would capture the toddler’s attention was all the costumed cast members, animated creatures, twirling rides, sweet-smelling snacks and toys. But to her surprise, and the surprise of her anthropologist colleague, they found, after hours of close observation, that what captured the attention of the children was not Disney-conjured magic. Instead it was their parents’ cell phones, especially when their parents were using them.
Those kids clearly understood what held their parents’ attention - it wasn’t them or the rides - and they wanted it too. When the parents were on the phone, their attention was turned to their parents and they were vying for that attention.
Well, she got my attention with this article because I spent a fair amount of time thinking that through. Wow! What captures our attention controls our life. How does that pan out in our different scenarios? Or to be more specific, how does it pan out in our corporate world? Anderson goes on to say, “As leaders, what you pay attention to, not only controls your own brain, but sets the example for your team.” The key is always about wanting to build relationships. It must be that at the end of the day, the things that we have communicated, all the things that we have worked together, have gone to build a relationship. And as the kids found out, you don’t build a relationship with mom and dad if mom and dad are always talking on a phone to somebody else. They were vying for that relationship.
The people we are face to face with are no longer opportunities for conversations. We become so caught up with everything else that even in the space that we have with people, we are actually focused on something else. And cell phones have really become the bane of that. They have their pros and cons – I’m not trying to debunk the cell phone; it’s a great asset. But relationships suffer when our attention is not on them.
As I look at this question, as leaders, what do we pay attention to that has a bearing on not only what I begin to think about, but on the people around me? Then it is very important to know what it is we are zeroing in on. If there are ramifications for people around us, then what are we modeling? What are we inspiring people to do?
I remember (and I say this with sadness in my heart) talking to somebody who was telling me how difficult his office setting was, because he had a couple of colleagues who in their spare time, would get on to internet porn sites. They would call him to come and watch stuff. He said, “I didn’t want to; yet there was so much pressure on me to go and join them.” How sad! What a difficult way to function in an office – to find yourself under that kind of pressure. The truth is that we are always influencing people, for good or for bad.
I remember the lines of a song that my wife and I used to sing some years ago.
You may say to yourself, “It’s my life I’m living. So I’ll do the things that I want to do.” But my friend, won’t you watch the things you are doing, Just remember, somebody’s watching you.
Life isn’t just about yourself. Whether you like it or not, remember we are always influencing people, for good or for bad.
I remember when I was in my teens; I was part of a great group of people who did some wonderful singing. I was privileged to be a part of them. After one particular concert, they had all got together and everyone was enjoying a drink. I was the youngest in the group. One of the guys asked me what I would have and I replied that I didn’t drink. He began to mock me – “C’mon, what do you mean you don’t drink. You must have one. We’re celebrating.” There was an older person in that group who stepped in and he said to this other person, “If he has a drink today, I’ll throw you out of this group.”
I’ve never forgotten that incident; I’ve never forgotten that person. He’s been a wonderful role model in my life all these years. Whether we like it or not, we have the opportunity to influence people. And we ought to take that opportunity. What captures your attention controls your life but also has the potential of molding somebody else’s life.
In our Holy Book we have a thought that comes about right living that says, “When we look at our own rights and the responsibilities that we have, the responsibilities that we have to people around us always outweighs our own rights.” Matthew 17:24-27. Rights have to do with me. It’s about me; it’s selfish and taken to an extreme, it’s narcissistic.
It’s interesting that the DSM (The APA Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) in their 2013 edition is going to remove Narcissistic Personality Disorders. It’s no longer a disorder. It’s beginning to be the norm. That’s such a telling statement – that more and more, we are beginning to be so focused on ourselves that we are forgetting the people around us.
Maybe it’s time that we began to take responsibility for people around us. Let’s see what captures our attention. Make sure that those things are good things because they have the potential to control not only our life, but also the lives of people all around us. So let’s make sure that what captures our attention are things that would add and enhance the quality of not only our life but of the people around us.
That’s the challenge that I believe we need to take with us today. Let it not be about us; let it be about people around us and how we can enhance the quality of their life. And as we do that, automatically we will find that our quality of life has also been enhanced.
Let me pray with you: Almighty God, today would you turn our eyes and our attention away from ourselves. Help us to see people around us. Help us to focus on them. Help our thoughts to dwell on good things, things of good repute. Help us to think of things that are excellent so that that controls our life and in turn, control the lives of people all around us. Move us away from our rights to the responsibilities that we have towards other people around us. I pray a blessing on each one on this call, in the name of Jesus. Amen.
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