Tuesday, July 3, 2012

FAKE THAT CONFIDENCE: YOU’LL GET IT

by Dr. Cecil Clements (3rd July 2012)

I was reading the Economic Times yesterday and found an article, actually a small little blurb that said; ‘Global Business leaders’ perception of India is better than locals’. This little article went on to say that HSBC India’s head, Naina Lal Kidwai had said that perception of the global business community about India is better than its own industry back home.

She then went on to say, “Our perception of ourselves is much lower than how the world perceives us. We need to ensure that the boardrooms of large companies do not get infected by this negative perception and begin to hesitate as they come to India.” This was quoted in an interview with PTI in Brussels.

There’s so much truth in that statement. I have the opportunity every now and then, to offer pre-marital counseling to those who are planning to get tie the knot. One of the areas that I cover is how you treat your spouse. I always tell these people, “Remember this; the way you treat your spouse in front of friends and family, will be the say that they treat your spouse. You set the standard. You set the bar and after that, everybody else will follow what they’ve seen and what you’ve modeled. So it’s important to be careful about what you are projecting.”

My daughter Christa came in last night and said, “Dad, we have a throw ball match tomorrow and I am really worried because our team hasn’t played competitively at all, and the rest of the teams have.” I told her, “Change the attitude!” If you go in like that, thinking you are already weaker, that’s the way you’ll play. You need to go in there, thinking that you’ve got some leg, you’ve got zest. You’ve got to see high-fives all around as you guys win the game. That’s the kind of energy you need to take in, whether you’ve played or not. It’s your mindset that’s going to be important tomorrow when you play. You need to communicate that to the rest of the team – be able to picture winning or you will end up losing.”

It’s so important that what we project is something that is positive. Social psychology calls this ‘a reflected appraisal process’. This reflected appraisal process is considered one of the influences on the development of self-concept. The term refers to a process where we imagine how other people see us. In many instances, the way we believe others perceive us is the way we perceive ourselves.

This is a kind of reversal. We think that other people see us as less than we are and we begin to act that way. In fact, that may not be true at all. We see that it goes both ways – that we project a lesser image or we can project a lesser image because we think that other people have that perception of us. We can change that, because how we allow people to perceive us is the way they will indeed respond to us.

There’s an old adage that says, “You’ve got to fake it till you make it.”

I’m not talking about bravado – going into situations where you are unprepared and acting like you know everything. I’m talking about quiet confidence, being confident about your ability, overcoming some of the inadequacies that you have with confidence, that you can learn and you can do something well.

There’s an article written in Harvard Business School, ‘Power Posing: Fake It Until You Make It’ by Julia Hanna. She quotes an Assistant Professor, Amy Cuddy, saying, “Simply holding one’s body in expansive, ‘high-power’ poses for as little as two minutes stimulates higher levels of testosterone (the hormone linked to power and dominance) and lower levels of cortisol (the ‘stress’ hormone that can, over time, cause impaired immune functioning, hypertension and memory loss). We used to think that emotion ended on the face. Now there is established research showing that while it’s true that facial expressions reflect how you feel, you can also ‘fake it until you make it’. In other words, you can smile long enough that it makes you feel happy.”

She doesn’t just base this on her own thinking. There was an actual experiment carried out which was reported in Psychological Science, which Cuddy did along with co-authors Dana Carney and Andy Yap from Columbia University and they used 42 male and female participants. I won’t go into all the details but basically, they had divided them into two groups and manipulated one group into using expansive poses for one minute each: the classic feet on the desk, hands behind the head, standing and leaning on one’s hands over a desk poses. The other group was made to sitting in chairs with arms held close, hands folded and standing with arms and legs crossed tightly. After they finished this, they took saliva samples and measured the testosterone and cortisol levels. They found that there was an increased amount of testosterone in the ones that had maintained the expansive pose.

It is possible, both psychologically and physiologically, to change some of the outward appearances that we have, even when we are feeling negative, because let’s face it, the world around us doesn’t bend for us, doesn’t work for us all the time.

Today as you look at life and even as you walk into your office space, it could be that things are not going well for you – your finances have taken a beating, or there’s a strain on your relationships, or you’re having trouble with children’s education, trouble with in-laws or investments, or your project isn’t going well – all this things can give you a beating and make you feel less than who you really are.

I wonder if this morning, you can take heart from these thoughts and say, “I’m not going to let any of this diminish who I am. I am good, I am intelligent, I am in this company because they realize that I have value and I’m going to portray that confidence to people all around me. Nobody here is going to see me walk in and think – this person will not be able to do it. He looks weak already.

I wonder today whether you can take a minute or two and get a smile back on your face and then a spring in your step. Square those shoulders back, look confident, enter your field of work today and portray to people around that you’re a capable and efficient person who is more than capable of doing a job that is handed to them.

The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.”

Think strong, my friends. Think positive today because you are made in the very image of God. Walk confidently. That’s my prayer for you today.

Let me pray with you. Almighty God, on each one of these people on this call; you know where they are. You know if they have to take a beating today. You know whether they are down and having difficult times. But Lord, would you come alongside of them, would you lift up their heads, would you give them a spring in their step, would you give them confidence saying that you are with them and you will not leave them. As they walk into their spheres of work, I pray that they would influence people, would be able to do work exceedingly well in excellent ways. And Lord, that you would get honor today in Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

No comments:

Post a Comment