Tuesday, July 10, 2012

IT’S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

by Dr. Cecil Clements (10th July 2012)

I have been challenged in these last couple of days by some phrases that have come to me over the years. I want to share them with you this morning and hope that it will stimulate you to think a little differently on some of the ‘black and white’ issues that seem to face us.

“Do unto others as you would have them do to you” is one. So often we want others to treat us well and the golden rule is that if we want that, then we need to be able to treat others well too. But what comes to mind is that sometimes, things aren’t what they seem to be. We can look at things and come to an understanding, which may or may not be true. It’s good to cut a little bit of slack and give people the benefit of the doubt.

I came across this story and I’m not very sure of its authenticity but it makes the point. So here goes.

Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve, when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
“Is this your car, Mister?” he asked.
Paul nodded. “My brother gave it to me for Christmas.”
The boy was astounded. “You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish…..” and he hesitated.
Of course, Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish that he had a brother like that. But what the boy said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.
“I wish,” the boy went on, “that I could be a brother like that.”
Those kinds of statements jar us because we’ve already done and dusted with the response. We already think that’s the normal response that will come. And then, out of the blue something else comes and shakes us. We realize that there is sometimes more to meet the eye than what is visible; more to be heard than what is sometimes said.

That is something that has been on my mind in the last week. I was reading an article on Eden Atwood, an American jazz singer. But she has a medical problem. Her DNA says that she is a man and that’s because she has male chromosomes, an X and a Y, instead of XX like most females. It’s a disorder of sexual development in the womb called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome or AIS. Dr. Charmian Quigley, a pediatric endocrinologist, says that there are about 7500 women in the US with the condition. Statistics tell us today that 1 in every 20,400 births are AIS. Eden Atwood goes on to say that she has come to terms with this particular issue. Even her Dr. Quigley says that despite the male chromosome, women with AIS are just that – women.

When I read that, I was reminded of how things are not what they seem and yet sometimes we jump very quickly to conclusions. I have been saddened by what has happened with Pinki Pramanik, our Gold medal winner for India in 5 international games and a silver in the Melbourne Commonwealth Games. What troubles me is not the allegations and stuff that has happened, but our response and the way we’ve already found her guilty. Today she is incarcerated, in prison; she has not been given bail for a crime that is not yet proved.

I think to myself, “That ought not to be happening. She’s no risk to society and yet we are quite comfortable as a society to let somebody who has stood proudly on international arenas as the Indian flag waved. Now all of a sudden, she’s spurned, and for something that is not yet clear.

As I share this with you this morning, you are probably thinking, “What does this have to do with me, with Corporate CAPsule, with leadership, with management?”

I think – a lot! Very often our gut reaction is to make decisions on what is visible or what is heard. And sometimes, things aren’t always what they seem. Maybe this morning, what you and I need to look for is probably a colleague who walks into the office with a disheveled look or responds a little testily to something said or is short with somebody. Before we give a kneejerk reaction or a reprimand or take action and discipline, I wonder if we could take a step back and say, “Could it be that there’s been a new member of the household, whether this person has been up all night? Could it be that they are struggling through night school? Could it be that they are looking after aging parents? Could it be that this person is a single parent? Is there an alcoholic spouse in the equation?”

Maybe today we can all take a step back and try and see what is not seen, hear what is not being said and maybe do things that are least expected from us.

“Do unto others as you would have them do to you” (Matthew 7:12). This is such a good golden rule given in our Scriptures – so necessary for us to be humane people in our workplaces.

Let me pray with you: Almighty God, on each one of these precious ones on this call, I pray that you would sensitize us to people around us, that we don’t jump to conclusions too soon, that we give people the benefit of the doubt, that we are able to look and see beyond facades, to hear those things that are not said, to be kind and compassionate even in our workplaces that call for assertiveness and a certain amount of aggression. I pray that we can be a humane society, that we can be light-bearers, we can be ones who would speak kind words, we can lift up people who are down and out, we can be ones who will be encouragers to our colleagues around us today. I pray this prayer in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.

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