Over the years I have come to realize that quite a few of you on the call are cricket enthusiasts (actually, who isn't in our country). Most of us, even if we are not into cricket, get drawn in by all the frenzy of IPL and so on. But, this last month, when the World Cup T20 final was being played and all of us were watching Yuvraj Singh struggle to get to his 10 or 11 runs, consuming about 21 balls in the process. That's about 10% of the number of balls bowled in a match. Yesterday, I looked at the scoreboard for MS Dhoni as he came in to bat and saw that in 15 balls, he had scored 32 and departed. I couldn't help going back to that T20 final and thinking of how many millions of collective hearts collapsed that day as Yuvraj Singh tried and tried to get the ball to the boundary, but couldn't even connect. I don't think anyone has any doubts about Yuvraj Singh's prowess as a batsman. Time and again he has proved that – he has scored 6 sixes in an over, something Stuart Broad will never forget. But one of the things that he said in the UAE recently caught my attention. He said, "The problem is people tend to forget what you've done earlier and they just criticize you without thinking."
As I reflected on that statement, I thought - I don't think that's true. I think all of us do remember Yuvraj Singh. Who can forget what he and Mohammad Kaif did in England at the NatWest final and subsequently at the World Final where he was pivotal and got the 'Man of the Series'. Nobody can ever forget that. Everybody knows what Yuvraj Singh is capable of doing. But I read an article that he wrote for The Times of India last week where he talked of the collective failure of the team, not once mentioning or saying that he was sorry that he had been so instrumental in single-handedly losing that match. Everyone knows that those 21 balls, with Kohli at the other end, were what lost the match. He could have used that blog to say, "I'm sorry. I tried to do my best, but it wasn't good enough. I hope you'll forget that." All he needed to do was to apologize and I think every person would have been quick to say, "Yuvraj, don't worry. We remember all your other exploits." But not having said that, kept that memory fresh in everybody else's minds. Instead he has lambasted people for forgetting what he has done.
Thinking about that whole incident, I thought that it really helps to say – I'm sorry! It really helps to admit to a mistake or having done something wrong. To just be able to acknowledge a mistake, helps people all around you to really respect you.
I was reading an article by Bob Whipple entitled "The Power of Admitting Mistakes". He says, "Let's suppose that I have gathered hundred leaders in a room and asked them to answer the following question: If you had made a mistake, which of the following two actions would have the greater chance of increasing the level of respect people have for you?
(A) You call people together, admit your mistake, apologize, and ask people to help you correct the problem.
(B) You try to avoid the issue, blame the problem on someone else, downplay the significance, pretend it did not happen, or otherwise attempt to weasel out of responsibility.
Given those two choices, I am confident that at least 99 out of the 100 leaders would say action (A) has a much greater probability of increasing respect. Yet, the irony is that when an error is subsequently made, roughly 80% of the same leaders choose action more consistent with choice (B). If you were to confront them and ask him why he chose (B) over (A), he would most likely say, 'I did not want to admit my mistake because I was afraid people would lose respect for me.' "
He points out that that was the very same reason why leaders chose choice (A) when asked the question earlier. He makes an interesting observation. He says, "Perhaps that's the difference between IQ and EQ. intellectually, they know the best route to improve trust, but emotionally they are not mature or confident enough to take the risk. Admitting an error has a positive impact on trust. As Warren Bennis says in Old Dogs; New Tricks, - All the successful leaders I've met have learned to embrace error and to learn from it."
How are you when it comes to admitting that you are wrong? Are you able to say, "Yes, I made a mistake"? Are you able to pull your team together and say, "Hey guys! I need to admit something. I'm sorry I made a mistake. I goofed and we've all paid for it but it was because of what I did"?
John C. Maxwell says, "A man/woman must be big enough to admit his/her mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them."
In an article that Amy Rees Anderson wrote for Forbes, she says, "Admitting you were wrong doesn't make you weak – it makes you awesome. It takes tremendous fortitude to utter the words 'I was wrong and I am sorry.' That's a great word – fortitude. It takes fortitude, it takes character; it takes strength and courage and resilience and grit and determination and guts to be able to say – I am sorry."
So often, we deal with people who are so bad at admitting mistakes or saying that they were wrong. Instead of earning respect, it actually shows up weakness and ineptness. You begin to lose trust. She later says, "The best employees in the organization recognize when mistakes have been made, and they also recognize when a manager is covering his own tracks. They ultimately lose respect, trust, and confidence in the manager, and more often than not, they will jump ship at the first opportunity that comes along to work in a better environment."
I think that the case is made that if you want to have a good working environment, then one must always be able to walk into a room and say, "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Will you forgive me? Let's see how we can collectively put our heads together and rectify this mistake and make sure that it doesn't happen again." In our organizations, we need to be able to be honest with others and with ourselves. It is so important to be able to admit mistakes. As we admit mistakes, we increase the trust and respect that people have for us. Ultimately, having their trust and their respect is what makes for a wonderful work environment.
So I encourage us, you and me, to look at our lives today and say, "Maybe there's something that we did wrong and we've just kept quiet about it." How about we bring that to the front burner today and deal with it. The more we hide those things, the more it just eats into us. It eats into our own sense of integrity and fair play. We cannot be who we need to be as leaders if we cannot honestly look at our own selves and admit our mistakes.
My hope and prayer for you and me today is that we would take a good look at ourselves, the lies, the decisions that we've made, and say, "Is there need to come clean on anything?" and then have the fortitude to be able to do so.
May I pray with you? Almighty God. Give us that sense of courage to be able to say to people around us – "I'm sorry, I made a mistake." Help us to be open with people. Help us to earn their trust and their respect. Help us to be better people because we are able to confront our mistakes and nothing is hidden that should be exposed. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
• Bob Whipple, "The Power of admitting mistakes," http://www.leadergrow.com/articles/64-the-power-of-admitting-mistakes
• Amy Rees Anderson, "Admitting You Were Wrong Doesn't Make You Weak--It Makes You Awesome!" http://www.forbes.com/sites/amyanderson/2013/05/01/admitting-you-were-wrong-doesnt-make-you-weak-it-makes-you-awesome/
• John Maxwell quote: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/mistakes.html
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