I keep coming back to an article that I read a couple of years ago by Clayton Christensen, who is a professor at Harvard Business School. The school itself talks about when members of the class of 2010 entered the school, they noted that the economy was strong and their post-graduation ambitions were limitless. Just a few weeks later, the economy went into a tailspin. They've spent the last two years trying to figure out what to do. That was the way 2010 – 2012 went for them. But what they did at the end of 2012 was to seek out Professor Christensen and ask him to address them. Interestingly, they didn't ask him to apply his principles to their career moves. They asked him to help them apply his principles to their personal lives. So he did!
In that talk, he asked them three questions. He said, "Here's what you need to be able to ask yourselves – three important questions that must have cogent answers.
· First, how can I be sure that I'll be happy in my career? That is so important, the things we do really give us joy. We are motivated by it.
· Second, how can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and my family become an enduring source of happiness? How can I be sure that the things I do at work contribute to the joy and happiness of my own family situations?
· Third, how can I be sure I'll stay out of jail? There was a stunned response but though the question seemed lighthearted, it's not. In my class of 32 Rhodes scholars, 2 spent time in jail. Jeff Skilling of Enron fame was a classmate of mine at HBS." It was his observation that got me. He said, "These were good guys – but something in their lives sent them off in the wrong direction."
I thought, more often than not, we never start out saying, "I want to do this badly or I'm going down a path that I shouldn't be." It's very subtle. I remember reading a book titled "The Man In The Mirror" by Patrick Morley. He says, "Every now and then, we need to take a good hard look at ourselves. Look in the mirror. Look at our faces and ask the question, "Am I who I'm supposed to be?"
Robert Kaplan wrote an article "What to Ask the Person in the Mirror?" Among a whole set of 8 or 9 questions, one of the things he says, "Are you staying true to yourself?" he looked at various fields within that and I thought that those might be interesting. He put down those fields and I'm going to go over them with broad brushstrokes.
1. Is my leadership style comfortable? Does it reflect who I truly am? Maybe this morning you are saying that you don't know what your leadership style is. Daniel Goldman in his book "Primal Leadership" talks of the different styles of leadership.
· Visionary style: used when the organization needs direction. Visionary leaders articulate where a group is going, but not how it will get there, setting people free to innovate, experiment and take calculated risks. Are you a visionary leader?
· Coaching style: you develop individuals around you, showing them how to improve their performance. The downside to being a coaching leader is that it can be perceived as micromanaging an employee and may undermine their confidence.
· Affiliative style: you place the importance on teamwork, creating harmony in a group, connecting people. But again, if this is skewed, it can allow for average mediocre performance because people begin to think – this is not my job; everyone needs to do it.
· Democratic style: you get all the people's knowledge and skills and create a group commitment to the resulting goals. This can be disastrous in times of crisis when you really need to pick up the gauntlet and say, "Here's what needs to be done."
· Pace-setting style: you set high standards for performance. But if you are obsessive about it, it can undercut morale and make people feel as if they are failing.
· Commanding/Military style: this rarely involves praise and frequently employs criticism.
As you look at these leadership styles, we float through different styles at different times in our loves. But sometimes, unconsciously, we settle on one that can, in some way, begin to say, "This is not really who I am. I really am not this kind of person but I've become that kind." Maybe it's time to ask the question, "Do I need to stay there? Is it time to change my leadership style?"
2. Do I assert myself sufficiently? Or have I become tentative? Sometimes, life has a way of doing that to us. We become tentative, not confident. Then people who are more assertive than us begin to take the ground that we used to have. I always tell people, "Be sure that you create your boundaries, because if you don't mark your boundaries, others will mark it for you. Taking back ground is always the harder option." Have you lost that assertive edge that you used to have? Have you become tentative?
3. Am I too politically correct? We can sometimes be politically correct to the point where we forget there are right and wrong things. I like what Tracy McGrady says, "People are so scared to voice who they are. They want to be politically correct – just scared to see what other people's perceptions are." Sometimes, we have become so politically correct that we've forgotten who we are and what we stand for. Russell Ballard says, "It may not always be easy or politically correct to stand for truth and right, but it is the right thing to do."
4. Does worry about my next promotion or bonus cause me to pull punches or hesitate to express my views? Are you more worried about than being able to do what is right and to express those things that you know are who you are?
We all need that reality check, to look in the mirror and ask ourselves, "What do I see? Am I seeing the person I used to be, somebody who was confident, kind, able to lead, assertive?" Or when you look at the mirror, you say, "I've changed a fair bit. This is not who I used to be a few years ago." I wonder this morning, as you look in the mirror, you say, "Maybe I need to make a few changes. Maybe I need to take a good hard look at my life today and ask – am I who I am meant to be?"
Friends, God made us all uniquely different. There is no other 'you' in this world and that's the kind of 'you' that will bring change in this world, that can be happy and content in all that you do. Sometimes the world has a way of making us fit into it's mold. Maybe today is the time to break out of it and say, "No! I will not allow that to happen. I will be the kind of person that God has created me to be." Maybe it's time to take a good hard look at the mirror and then have the courage and the conviction to make those changes. May God help you and bless you as you try to do that.
Allow me to pray with you. Almighty God. To each of us give wisdom to be able to do what we need to do, to be who we ought to be. Help us to see whether there are changes that have happened in our lives that we are not aware of and that we somehow need to take stock of. Help us Master, to see ourselves through your eyes and then help us to do what it takes to become those kinds of persons once again. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
• Clayton Christensen, "How Will You Measure Your Life?" http://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-measure-your-life/ar/1
• Robert S. Kaplan, "What to Ask the Person in the Mirror." http://hbr.org/2007/01/what-to-ask-the-person-in-the-mirror/ar/1
• "Leadership Styles" Adapted from "The Wall Street Journal Guide to Management" by Alan Murray, published by Harper Business. http://guides.wsj.com/management/developing-a-leadership-style/how-to-develop-a-leadership-style/
• Quotes by: Tracy McGrady & M. Russell Ballard
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