I was thinking about the month that we are in; we have crossed over into March and 2 months are already history for 2015. But March, by itself, is a very interesting month especially in your workplace. It's a month that has to do with year-endings, assessments, appraisals, increments, and also questions about whether this is the place to stay, anticipating whether it is time to make a move, how is your boss going to take the work that you have done over the year. All of that can create a lot of tension. Also, to look ahead when things don't quite go the way we expect. Then, oftentimes, we get into places where we are resentful, angry – those kinds of emotions come in. I have seen a few people who have gone into this month and have found that they are bitter because things didn't pan out the way that they expected. People, especially colleagues, let them down; people have reported on them and it leaves them with a very bitter taste.
I felt the need to talk about this bitterness that can come upon us when things go well, almost preempt it and prepare us for the month ahead and have a positive attitude.
I remember reading Joyce Meyer who said, "I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to live with bitterness and unforgiveness." I like to say it's like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. It really is that harmful to live this way. True words! Bitterness is like rust – it even eats into the strongest steel. It has a way of eroding from within. You can put on all the armour that you want on the outside to take care of any attack from the outside, but bitterness works from the inside and it can bring you down.
I want us to look at a couple of things particularly from a book written many years ago by one of my professors, Dr. Dean Galloway titled, "The Awesome Power of the Attitude." In it he looks at a chapter on bitterness. He says, "There are 4 things you need to know about bitterness so that you can make better choices.
1. Prevention is better than cure. It's better to prevent bitterness than to try and cure it. Take, for example, cancer. Look at the amount of money and research that is going into finding a cure for the disease. Why? Because everybody has realized what a destructive disease it is. Once it gets a root into our lives, it spreads rapidly. Bitterness has that same potential – the potential to destroy us. Medically too, it causes fatigue, backache, ulcers, headaches. It drains our vitality. It takes away our zest for life. It's an oppressive and destructive emotion that is the root for anger, resentment, hate and all those other emotions, which, if not dealt with, can lead to very violent behavior.
Our Scriptures say: "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." This means that bitterness even has the potential to stop God's goodness from flowing into our lives.
2. Learn to recognize the three ways that the destructive attitude of bitterness works itself out.
· You'll tend to have bitterness towards God. If you're carrying bitterness towards God, it's destructive because we rely on God everyday to be our source of wisdom and strength. If we have bitterness towards God, then it shuts out that once avenue that enables us to rely on someone who is infinitely more wise and patient and powerful from our lives.
· Bitterness happens against people. It works itself out as bitterness against each other. That's a key in what we are talking about today. You and I cannot afford the luxury of carrying bitterness towards one another because it will destroy our own lives. It's like taking poison and hoping that somebody else will die. We are relational people. God has made us to live in a relationship with each other. Bitterness takes us away from each other.
· Bitterness can be directed towards oneself. When we are bitter, we have pity parties. Self-pity is a form of anger with us. You may be bitter towards yourself because of something that you did, or some failure from the past. But, whatever the problem, we need to deal with it. We cannot allow bitterness towards ourselves, towards others and towards God to stay.
3. Bitterness always brings bad results. Bitterness brings up and causes trouble. The Bible says, "See to it that no bitterness grows up to cause trouble." people who have bitter attitudes also have twisted perceptions. All they see is the wrong they want to see in other people. And sometimes we are blinded to our own destructive attitudes. We don't take responsibility for our own ugly attitudes and actions. The sad thing is that not only do we reap the fallout and destruction of our relationships of the moment, but it stunts our growth and development, both emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes it's just uncontrollable.
S. I. Macmillan says that there are at least 50 different diseases associated with bitterness. It eats into us and finally destroys us.
I don't know how many of you remember a TV program called 'Amos & Andy' and in one of the episodes, Andy kept slapping Amos on the chest, until one day Amos decided he had endured enough and he would fix Andy once and for all. So, he goes to Kingfish, another of their friends, and shows him what he has done. He has tied explosives to his chest underneath his jacket and he proudly says, "The next time Andy slaps me on the chest, he's going to get his hand blown off."
That's the same way that bitterness acts! Andy hadn't stopped to think of the consequences of his own retaliation. He didn't realize that in trying to destroy somebody else, he would completely destroy himself too.
4. You need to know that bitterness is always a choice. You can choose a better attitude. A couple of years back, I was in the United States and a friend introduced me to a gentleman who had been a baseball commentator. When I met him, I was just taken aback by his face. It was one of the most disfigured faces I had ever seen. Then, I heard from my friend that, in one of the jobs that he was doing as a baseball commentator, the team had won. He was lighting the firecracker at the end of the game and it blew up in his face. He had multiple reconstructive surgeries and it still looked so bad. However, I was struck by the fact that he had such a positive attitude. Every one who passed us actually turned to look and stare. But he was just so confident and at peace with himself. As we talked, he told me about one person who changed his life. He said, "When I was in the hospital, the nurse came to me and said that there were always 2 things that happened in that particular ward where they did reconstructive surgeries. People either got better, or they remained bitter. The choice was always up to the patient. She said that she could fill my life and my thoughts in every waking moment thinking about why and who was responsible for this faulty firecracker. Or, I could just think that it happened. Now what do I do next?"
Good things for us to think about as we look at bitterness. But, to take care of bitterness, we need to be able to anchor ourselves in something that is bigger, to be able to say – I have faith in something that is far greater than what is happening to me. That faith is always, and must be rooted, in a God who is beyond and above our situations and circumstances. Because if we don't have that faith, then along with bitterness comes fear.
Dr. E. Stanley Jones, talking about the relationship between faith and fear, says, "I'm inwardly fashioned for faith, not for fear. Fear is not my native land or my native language; faith is. I am so made that worry and anxiety are sand in the machinery of life; faith is the oil. I live better by faith and confidence than by fear, doubt and anxiety. In anxiety and worry, my being is gasping for breath. But in faith and confidence, I breathe freely." The only thing that conquers fear is faith in God. How right! We must be able to look beyond and say, "Whatever happens to us within this month, God is still in control of my life. I may not be able to know what is going on, I may not know the intricacies of it, but I can trust Him."
One of my favorite hymns has this verse and I want to pass it on to you in closing.
I do not know what lies ahead,
The way I cannot see;
Yet One stands near to be my guide,
He'll show the way to me:
I know who holds the future,
And He'll guide me with His hand;
With God things don't just happen,
Everything by Him is planned.
So as I face tomorrow,
With its problems large and small,
I'll trust the God of miracles,
Give to Him my all.
That's my prayer for each one of us through this month, that we will trust God through every circumstance and make sure that the root of bitterness doesn't find fertile soil in our lives.
May I pray with you? Almighty God, guard us from this bitterness that can be so devastating. Instead increase our faith in you, to know that You are one who holds our future in Your very capable hands. Whatever we face today, You hold our future and You will take us through. Lord, let that truth embed itself in everyone on this call. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment