Today is the penultimate day of 2015. A day from now, a new year will dawn. But we still have a day to go! The year-end always brings up many thoughts. It's time for reflection, time to look back, time to look forward – it always brings up a kind of score sheet. How well did we really do through this year? For some it would be that this has been a mediocre year and you are hoping that things would change in 2016. For some it's been a terrible year and you're really hoping that there will be a climactic and very definite change, in 2016. You just can't go through another year like this one. For others, it could be that this has been a great year and you think that if you can replicate this year, it would be great; and if you could better it, it would be phenomenal. As Sania Mirza says, "To match 2015, it would be amazing. If we could better it (and she's talking about her doubles' wins with Martina Hingis, and the fact that they've won so many titles this year) I think it would be a dream come true." But, all of us have some idea of where we stand as we look at 2015 and how we have handled it.
I don't want to focus on what one did or did not do well. But I just felt today that, as we look ahead to this new year, it ought to be with a sense of anticipation, that however the year 2015 was, that there is much hope in 2016, and that we can cross over to 2016 with less baggage than we need to, so that we are much lighter in 2016 and better equipped to grasp the opportunities that it will have to offer us. Regret isn't something that we ought to be dwelling on, because regret always has to do with not having done things too well. It always comes with the assumption or knowledge that – I could have handled something differently, either done more work, done less or done nothing at all. But I could have handled that situation differently. That usually leads to a sense of sadness or disappointment.
So I don't want us to focus on that. I want us to move away from that today. I well remember 'Schindler's List' and how at the end, Oskar Schindler is looking at the life that he's lived and how he changed from one who was trying to make the maximum money during the war to one who suddenly became a humanitarian in saving over 1,100 Jews. Yet, at the end of it, he's looking at these 1,100 Jews who he has saved from the gas chamber, standing in front of him and feeling absolute regret. Such sadness envelops him when he thinks that he could have done much more. In fact, he stands there and talks to Stern, who was his manager, who had given him a letter trying to explain things in case he was captured, signed by every worker.
Schindler: Thank you.
Stern: It's in Hebrew, from the Talmud and says – Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.
Schindler: I could have got more out.
Stern: Oskar, there are 1,100 people who are alive because of you. Look at them.
Schindler: If I had made more money. I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If only I had just….
Stern: There'll be generations because of what you did.
Schindler: I didn't do enough.
Stern: You did so much.
Schindler: (looking at his car) This car. Goeth would have bought this car. Why did I keep the car? Ten people right there. Ten people. (removing a Nazi pen from his lapel) This pen. Two more people. This is gold.
He goes on and on. Finally he just collapses, sobbing in his manager's arms.
That is such a classic picture of regret, of a man who did so much and at the end of it says, "I could have done more."
Yet, at the end of this year, as we look at 2015, I really want us to look at it more objectively, not to dwell on some of the things that we couldn't really have done, but to say, "What are my options today, with a day to go?"
I was reminded of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer:
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the one from the other.
That's beautiful, isn't it? There are some things that will not change--you cannot change them. They may not be within your purview to change or not wise to change. There could be situations in your office – you can't change your boss, you can't change your co-workers. You can't change family. You can't change in-laws. You probably can't change your role or responsibility or your job. These are things you cannot change. But what you can do is to have the courage to change the things that you can.
And here's what you can change. All of us can change our response to those things that we have not been able to change. We can change the way we look at them. Our emotions have such a weight upon us if they are negative emotions. And that negativity is not what you should be crossing into the new year with. Let's make sure that we don't take accumulated bags of anger and resentment and frustration with us. Let's leave them in 2015. Instead, let's look ahead to 2016 with great hope that things can be different.
Katherine Mansfield said, "Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in." And we ought not to be wallowing in regret. We ought to just say, "That's what happened. I can't do anything about that. Now I'm going to look forward. With the things I can do something about, I'm going to do it and walk into 2016 with greater hope." In the end, as somebody said, we only regret the chances we didn't take. But no regrets should colour our life—just lessons learnt! That's what we need to take into 2016—just lessons learnt from this year.
Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, "Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering – It will be happier." And all of us can do with "happier."
A song that was written by Bill Gaither comes to mind. Some of you reading this post could be holding on to broken dreams, or things that have not worked out. The song goes like this:
If there ever were dreams
That were lofty and noble
They were my dreams at the start
And hope for life's best were the hopes
That I harbor down deep in my heart.
But my dreams they turned to ashes
And my castles all crumbled,
My fortunes turned to loss.
So I wrapped it all up in the rags of life
And laid it at the cross.
Something beautiful, something good
All my confusion God understood.
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife
But He made something beautiful of my life.
Let's make sure that we enter 2016, as Tennyson says, saying it will be happier. Let's take all of 2015 and give it over to the Almighty, the Creator of the ends of this world, and say, "Things maybe haven't panned out, but because of You I have hope in 2016 and therefore I will walk into it lighter, not taking any of the regrets, all of the negative emotions, but going in with a sense of anticipation because You are with me and You have said to me – 'I will never leave you, or forsake you.'" That's God's word for each one of us. I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. I WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU. Let's walk into 2016 with those words etched upon our hearts, knowing that we go into a place that will be "happier" because God is with us!
May I offer this prayer on our behalf?
Almighty God. In You we trust and in You we have our hope. Be with each one of us and help us to release the things of the past that will pull us down in 2016. Help us in these days to let go of things that we don't need so that we may cross over into a new year with great zest and zeal and anticipation, fully trusting You to be the one who makes a difference. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
• Sania Mirza quote, "Hindustan Times, December 29, 2015" page 15
• Oskar Schindler, "Schindler's List," http://www.thesource4ym.com/movieclipdiscussions/Discussion.aspx?id=179
• Reinhold Niebuhr, "Serenity Prayer," https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer
• Bill Gaither, "Something Beautiful, Something Good," http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/bill_gaither/something_beautiful.html
• Katherine Mansfield quote, http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/2014/05/14/no-regrets/
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