When you look at work places nowadays, there's a change that has come in the last decade where more attention is being paid to soft skills than some of the harder skills that we used to look at in terms of academic training and specific training that has gone into somebody's title. Nowadays there's a different perception of what it takes to make things work in the work place.
I remember almost a decade back, a good friend of mine bemoaning the fact that a lot of business schools were not spending enough time on a key aspect of what he felt was important in the work place – to be able to behave relationally. He was talking about the fact that not too much was emphasized in training individuals to work together as a team, to check how each personality worked with another personality.
How true is that! Today attitude in a company is so important. The old adage that says, "Hire for attitude and train for skills" is so prevalent these days. Attitude is so important when you come into a company and are able to find out what the culture is. Is it a good fit for you? Do you bring negativity into the work place? Do you have a good sense of how to interact with people around you? All of these are very important.
Daniel Goleman, in his book 'Working With Emotional Intelligence' says, "We've talked about this loosely for decades under a variety of names from character and personality to soft skills and competence. But at last, there is a more precise understanding of these human talents and a new name for them. What is that new name? Emotional intelligence. What is emotional intelligence? It is your ability -
· To recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability,
· To use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships."
The first reaction to any situation is emotion. It's always an emotion. You have absolutely no way in which you can control it. But you do have control over the thoughts that follow the emotion. And you do have the ability to choose your reaction to the emotion as long as you are aware of it. So the behavior that can be associated with that emotion, you have the ability to control.
Emotional intelligence is key for our understanding of good work place harmony, but it begins with the ability to recognize and understand your emotions. Is it the same as IQ? No, it's not. EQ is different from IQ (or cognitive intelligence as we've come to know it) because when you look at EQ, IQ and personality, we realize that 2 of them we cannot change. We cannot change the IQ and the personality. Both of those are areas that come with us and are molded from the time we are small. But EQ can be molded even at a later age. EQ is the only one that is flexible and is prone to change, or able to change. And that is something that we have control over. The key here is that we need to keep our emotions from hijacking our behavior.
Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, in their book 'Emotional Intelligence 2.0' (and I would encourage you to buy that book because there's a test you can take in it that will allow you to know where you are in an appraisal of your emotional intelligence) say, quoting Julia West, "There are 5 emotions that are key:
· Happy
· Sad
· Afraid
· Angry
· Shame
All emotions that come up can fall into one of these 5 categories in various degrees of intensity that we may have depending upon the situation. But the key is to be able to know how to handle it.
I thought to myself – if this is so important especially in the work place where we are working with other people, then it is incumbent upon us to pay attention to how we respond. The starting point is always self-awareness, to be able to recognize the moment an emotion surfaces and say, "This is something that I'm happy about, sad about, afraid or angry or ashamed." Then, make sure that the behavior that comes out or is connected with that emotion is something that is not destructive or harmful. Emotional intelligence measures this ability that you have to be able to counter it. To take an emotion and then deal with it well. How well you deal with these emotions in the work place is going to be crucial.
I have so much of awe and respect for people who are going through difficult times, facing various crisis moments, and yet, they are able to keep a hold of their emotions. They can recognize the emotion that has come up, but they recognize that the behavior is what will translate into how people around them respond to them. Leadership is so important in this area. How you and I are perceived as leaders will be connected with how we look at the way we handle our emotions.
I want to leave this with you this morning. It challenged me as I was looking at the book by Bradberry and Greaves 'Emotional Intelligence 2.0'. So I wanted to put it out there and see if it challenges any of us to look at our emotions at a little deeper level and say, "If I'm going to do something about self-improvement, it must start with self-awareness." And as always, we have the Almighty God in our corner to help us. Sometimes we have got used to triggers that have come because of our history, our past. And before we know it, we've gone into an emotional behavior pattern that is destructive. We have the ability to ask God to help us before we have a behavior attached to the emotion, to warn us so that we can have the appropriate behavior. I pray that you would use that one call that we have to the Almighty God to help you each and every day
May I pray with you? Almighty God, bless each one on this call and help us as we look at the various emotions that we deal with, whether it is one of happiness, or something sad, something that we are fearful about, or angry, or even shameful. Help us to have the appropriate behavior that is associated with these emotions. We know, Master, that we cannot control our emotions, but we can control behavior. Help us to do that appropriately. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
• Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves, "Emotional Intelligence," http://www.amazon.in/Emotional-Intelligence-2-0-Patrick-Lencioni/dp/0974320625/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1480995610&sr=1-1&keywords=emotional+intelligence+20
• Bill Taylor, "Hire for Attitude, train for Skill," https://hbr.org/2011/02/hire-for-attitude-train-for-sk
• Daniel Golemam, "Workplace," http://www.danielgoleman.info/topics/workplace/
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