My wife is a clinical psychologist; she works as a counselor in a hospital in Mumbai. While she deals with a whole lot of different issues, marriage, family, children's issues, adolescence, every now and then, she gets a case that involves a breach of trust between a couple or between parents and children. She always comments that when trust is breached, it takes a long time to repair that trust. Not only does it take a long time to repair that trust, but it takes intent as well. The person who has breached that trust needs to be very intent on mending trust and be prepared for the long haul; because it takes a while to trust somebody again when that trust has been broken.
Trust is one of the key foundations of our relationships. I used to say this when my youngest daughter was growing up (now she is all of 15) – when I was in the deep end of the swimming pool with a friend and if my friend asked her to jump in and that he would catch her, she would hesitate. But if I asked her to jump in, she would do so. This underscored her level of trust that she had in me, her dad. She knew that I wouldn't let her down; I would keep her safe.
Trust is so important in all that we do, because while we have some familial relationships, that relationship also exists within the office space. Trust is a key issue even in our offices.
I was reading a book by John Maxwell, 'The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership'. He says, "Trust is the foundation of leadership. It is the law of solid ground." That is so true. When trust is there, that is a solid place to be in. It's a safe place to be.
I was thinking a lot about trust this past week and how it plays out in our lives, in our office places especially. For each one of us on this call, what level of trust do you have in your office spaces? Are you able to have people follow you and trust you implicitly? Trust is such an integral part of leadership. John Maxwell says, "When it comes to leadership, you just can't take shortcuts, no matter how long you've been leading your people. Because when you take shortcuts, then trust is what gets diminished." He goes on to say in his book 'Developing the Leader Within You', "A leader's history of success and failure makes a big difference in his or her credibility. It's like a little earning and spending pocket change. Each time you make a good decision, it puts change in your pocket. And each time you make a poor one, you have to pay out some of your change to the people. When trust is breached especially, you pay out a lot of change. Every leader has a certain amount of change in his pocket when he starts in a new leadership position. From then on, he either builds up his change or pays it out if he makes one bad decision after another, he keeps paying out change. Then one day, after making one last bad decision, he's going to reach into his pocket and realize that he is out of change. It doesn't even matter if the blunder was big or small. When you're out of change, you're out as the leader."
That's a sobering thought! You lose change when you make bad decisions that have been shortcuts that have taken trust out of the equation. I ask this question to you as I ask it to myself, "How about you and me? Where are we with trust? Do people around us trust us? Will they follow us wherever we go?
I remember many years ago, we had the Jazz Yatra in Mumbai and I was privileged to be part of a 100 strong singing group that was trained by somebody from Broadway. It was an amazing experience. I remember being willing to do anything that this conductor would ask of us. At the end of the 10 days that he worked with us, before the program somebody remarked that we would follow this conductor to hell and back. That was so true because he had worked with us and demonstrated such an ability to muster trust that we were willing to follow him.
Trust is something that you and I need in our office spaces; to have people willing to say that they are willing to follow so and so because they trust him/her.
Craig Weatherup, former CEO and Chairman of Pepsi Bottling Group, says, "People will tolerate honest mistakes. But if you violate their trust, you will find it very difficult to regain their confidence. That is one reason why you need to treat trust as your most precious asset. You may fool your boss but you can never fool your colleagues or subordinates."
What is it that makes trust possible? John Maxwell says, "Character makes trust possible, and trust makes leadership possible."
J.R. Miller once observed "The only thing that walks back from the tomb with the mourners and refuses to be buried is the character of a man." What a man or a woman is survives him/her. It can never be buried. Character must be consistent for it to be true. You can't be one thing in the office and one thing at home. At sometime or the other that inconsistency will show up. What you are in your home or even by yourself is who you are. Who you are is what your character is like, and that will surface in your actions as you seek to build trust.
But how does your family see you? How does your spouse see you? Or your children? Will they vouch for your character? Will they put implicit trust in you? As the old adage says 'Charity begins at home' or 'Love begins at home', the people who know you well, who are the closest to you, are the people who know the kind of character that you have. That's a challenge, my friends, not only for you, but for me as well, to develop good character within my home because as it extends into my office, it must be true or else it will fall.
I was meditating on some words from the Bible from the New Testament written by Peter (in 1 Peter 3:7), "In the same way, husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so that your prayers will not be hindered."
That was a sobering truth to me that I need to treat my wife well because God expects me to do that or else when I pray, it would be a hindrance to Him listening to me. And I want God to listen to me. I want Him to be on my side, in my camp. I want Him to be leading and guiding me. I want Him to listen to me when I pray to Him. And that begins at home; begins with the way we treat our people around us, those who love us, who care for us.
Do we have that kind of trust in our homes? I pray that you do. As you build trust at home, it will surface in your work spaces and leadership will follow. Good leadership, that people will follow to hell and back, as the old adage goes.
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