There's a story that I've used very often and I've always attributed it to Dave Loney who worked with Boeing. I have tried to get the exact citation for it but haven't been successful. I'm going to tell it to you as I remember it. There was a time when he had a lot of management trainees come in for a day. He said that he remembered calling in a professional to talk to these business students. At the end of the day, this professional said, "I'd like to give you an illustration." He pulled out a bucket from under the desk and placed it on top of the desk. Then he pulled out another bucket that had big stones in it. He placed the stones one after the other into the big bucket, filled it to the top and then asked the class: "is the bucket full?" Everybody in the class said: "Yes, it is." He said, "No it's not." He then took another bucket that had gravel. And he put the gravel into the bucket with the stones and the gravel settled in where the big stones hadn't gone, filled it to the top and asked the question, "Is the bucket full?" This time the class was a little wary and they said, "No, it's not full." And he said, "You're right in being wary and tentative about it because it's not." He took another bucket that had sand which he proceeded to pour where the big rocks and the gravel had not gone. Then he asked the question again, "Is it full?" This time, the class in unison said, "No, it's not." He said, "Correct!" He took a bucket of water, poured the water where the big rocks and the gravel and the sand hadn't gone, filled it to the top and then asked the question, "Is it full?" This time, in a chorus, all of them said, "Yes, it is." He said, "You're right." But then he said, "What is the point of this illustration?" There's always one smart aleck in the class and he put his hand up and said, "Sir, the point of the illustration is this: that however busy your schedule is, you can always find room for more." Everybody had a good laugh.
If I may digress for just a moment: Isn't that how we sometimes live our lives? We are very easily swayed by all the things that life offers, and we keep piling it on into our lives, not able to say 'No'. For some of us on this call, our lives are so full because we can't say 'No' to the small insignificant things that we should be passing by.
But, to get back to the story, the Instructor said, "No! That's not the point of this illustration. The point is this: If you don't get the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all." Interesting, isn't it? But also, as we listen to it, it begs the question: What kind of rocks do we have in our buckets? Or, if I can push it even further: What kind of rocks do you and I have in our buckets today? If we were to cast our mind's eye and look at our buckets, would it be filled with big rocks that are really important? Or would it be filled with gravel, or even worse, sand, or water?
What fills your bucket today, my friends? Sometimes we start off very well. we put in the most important things in our lives and we're doing very well. then all of a sudden, as greater opportunities come, we take those opportunities thinking that it's part of being successful in our lives. Then we grab every opportunity, not realizing that our buckets are beginning to be filled with things that are not really of value to us. But, part of success is being able to take those opportunities, and we don't know where to draw the line. Suddenly we're living life so full, and yet, we're living life so stretched and so thin.
Greg McKeown calls it the 'Clarity Paradox'. He says, "Sometimes you see people who ought to be successful, who were successful at one point, and then aren't now. One of the reasons for that is that they are caught up in this clarity paradox. There are four predictable phases in this paradox:
1. When we really have clarity of purpose, it leads to success.
2. When we have success, it leads to more options and opportunities.
3. When we have increased options and opportunities, it leads to diffused efforts.
4. Diffused efforts undermine the very clarity that led to our success in the first place.
That's why he calls this a paradox. It doesn't make sense. You start out with clarity of purpose, and as that goes on to its logical conclusion, it ends up that the very clarity that we had is undermined. And the success that should have is missing. Curiously, success becomes a catalyst for failure. That might be a huge overstatement, but yet, there's an element of truth in it. Sometimes success itself can become the genesis of failure.
How do we stop it? How do we get back to where we once were and be able to think more clearly? Can we empty the bucket? Can we get the big rocks back in again? There are three ways or suggestions that McKeown gives us:
1. Use more extreme criteria in making decisions. It's like when we go to our closets and we see the many clothes that we have. We ask the question: Is there a chance that I will wear this someday in the future? The answer for that is always, "Of course!" But he says, "If we change the question and say, "Do I absolutely love this?" then we may get a different answer which will enable us to eliminate the clutter and have space for something better.
2. Ask "What is essential?" and then eliminate the rest. Eliminate the nonessentials. How do we do that?
· Conduct a life audit. Look at our desks. However much we try, our desks continue to get cluttered. They are all well-intended ideas that just continue to pile up. But they come with no expiration date. So, they just go one on top of the other. We need to be able to say, "This gets off my desk." Harvard Business Review gave a management tip some time back that said, "Keep your to-do list fresh with a 3-day rule. A to-do list is only useful if you cross things off as often as you add tasks on. if somethings been on your list for more than 3 days, do one of the following:
o do it immediately. It may take you less time than you think.
o Schedule it. Find a time slot on your calendar when you can get the task done.
o Let it die. If you're not willing to do something immediately or schedule it for later, you won't ever do it. Accept that it's not really a priority and take it off your list.
3. Beware of the endowment effect. This is the tendency to value an item more once we own it. This is what I have become and I want to keep it like that. We love to hoard. I'm a great collector of books. I love to keep books. I've got books that are 30-35 years old. How much do I really value this item? If is ask that question of my books, I would say, "Oh, I really value it." But instead, if I ask this question: If I did not own this item, how much would I pay to obtain it? I would then get a different answer.
That's the kind of question that we need to ask. We ask that of our career opportunities – how much do I value this opportunity? Can it be replaced? If I did not have this opportunity, how much would I be willing to sacrifice in order to obtain it? We need to be able to go after the things that are really important to us especially as you look at being successful. You will get to a point where you are getting thin, diffused, lost – all the irrelevant things that come with being successful, then you need to always step back and say: Do I have clarity of purpose? The many opportunities that come with who you are right now are what will pull you and me down. We need to always go back to the basics and say: Is this what I am passionate about? Is this what really taps into my talent? Is this a significant need in the world now? Somehow then, we will have a better chance of going after the really important things in our lives. Ultimately, that is what our lives need to be – lives of significance.
The one thing that can happen as we look at our bucket and see it filled with all the gravel and sand and water, and not too many big stones, is that it can wear us down. It is the hundreds of small things that we do that can sap our energy, take away our vision and leave us tired and fatigued. Maybe you are tired today, exhausted, worn out; events in your life are taking its toll.
As I thought about that I was reminded of Scripture that says, "For they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
My friends, to each one of you reading this post, that's my prayer for you, that somehow you would get new perspective, that you would lean on the Almighty God today and say, "Would You show me what I need to put back in my bucket? Can I empty the bucket that I have now and fill it again with things that are really significant, things that I'm passionate about, things that I ought to have in my life, rather than the mundane and insignificant things that I have filled it with up to now?"
May I pray with you? Almighty God, bless everyone on this call. Give us wisdom. Give us the insight that we need to be able to turn our buckets upside down and refill them with important, significant things, things that have to do with how you view our lives. Make them lives of significance for us. I pray that You would renew each one on this call. Where there is fatigue and tiredness, come alongside of us and bring strength and energy. I bless each one in the name of Jesus. Amen.
· Greg McKeown, "The Disciplined Pursuit of Less." https://hbr.org/2012/08/the-disciplined-pursuit-of-less
· Bible reference: Isaiah 40:31
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